You know, I try not to resent the Brits, but what business is it of theirs if I decide I want a basement full of death rays? Do I send tuxedoed secret Agents to Number 10 every time they decide to illegally invade somewhere or destabilize a major world power? No! I don't do it to the American government either. It's not like I'm actually threatening anyone with them, I just like having death rays around. I happen to think they look pretty. I just like knowing that there are space based beweaponed satellites floating around the world that could unleash electric death at any moment.
And I need the small private army to make sure the death rays are kept in tip-top condition. Takes a lot of maintenance to keep a death ray in good condition, and I’ve got 17 of them (I’m looking at a new JX-7 on Ebay right now though) so we’ve got a lot of work to do. I’ve got my eye on an island in the mid-Atlantic, but I haven’t made my mind up yet.
So really, can’t these people stop sending guys in tuxes to try and kill me? I’ve bumped seven of them off just this week. I can’t imagine what kind of trouble I’d be in if I favored slow and interesting deaths that happen after I leave the room, instead of just shooting them. Can you fathom the trouble I’d be in if I decided to leave loopholes for them to jump through?
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