Tuesday, February 10, 2009

We're all in Allentown now

Why are bankers so stupid? No, really, why?

I can understand that they’re greedy little twerps who want all the money in the world, but why do they got to be so dumb about it. They’ve fought every cap on salaries and bonuses tooth and nail, completely missing the huge resentment in the booze and shotgun crowd that their huge self-congratulatory pay rises have earned. I mean, it’s not going to take much longer before we see the poor guy thinking like so…

“Your bank bought my company, and you closed the factory. Then I couldn’t pay my mortgage so you took away my house, then my wife left and took the car that I still owe two years worth of payments on… and your reward for this is to get a hundred million dollar bonus? Jimmy, go down to the store and get me a bottle of vodka and a fuzzy hat, we’re goin’ commie. Steve, get my shotgun, we’re gonna go hunt us some decadent fat cats.”

And then… shit will be on. It won’t be fun, revolution is never fun. Living under communism won’t be fun. For a start, I fucking hate vodka.

This is getting to be a scary time, a time when facts won’t matter. Not that facts matter that much anyway. What really happened or what you really mean doesn’t matter as much as what people think happened or what they think you mean. That’s the whole basis of PR, convincing people to think what you want them to think instead of what really is.

If people think that someone is just trying to screw them over, take everything they own, and give it all to a few rich bastards, then they will retaliate. They’re not going to care about facts at that point, they’re not going to listen to well reasoned arguments, they’re going to go gunning, literally gunning, for the people who they have decided did everything in their power to fuck them over. All it would take is a couple of skilled rabble rousers to point out that while the everyman was working hard and paying his bills and doing everything right, a few cheats at the top skewed everything against them. Truth wouldn’t matter, people are desperate and their scared and they want to blame someone. Can’t blame the immigrants any more, all the illegals are leaving, and besides the immigrants don’t have anything either so they can’t really be the cause.

I’ll tell you, I’m worried. Partly because I don’t like vodka, partly because I don’t look good in a fuzzy hat, but mostly because being caught between revolutionary and counter revolutionary forces would suck like a Hoover with a fresh bag. Actually since I live in Michigan I’ll be pretty safe except for local disturbances. When the battles sweep the land our little peninsula will be too out of the way for anyone to bother with. It’s like how we never really get much interstate traffic. If you’re driving in Michigan it’s because this is either your destination or you’re on your way out. There are only a few reasons anyone would be just passing through this state so we should be okay when the shooting starts.

I don’t really want shooting to start though, but I fear it will if someone doesn’t go and have a word with the banks. It just needs a few words about how bad their making themselves look, how much resentment is being turned towards them and how when shit got bad St. Lee of Iacocca took the one dollar salary option and pulled them through for the time he was there.

Of course St. Lee also knew what the hell he was doing, which was helpful and probably too much to expect of these guys.

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