There is actually only one salt lamp that I moved around.

Bambi seperates us

You know how I know I'm not like the rest of you?

This right here...



When I watched that for the first time, I was just a kid, maybe 4 or 5 or 6 or 7.

It took me about as long as it takes Bambi to work out what just happened in that scene. I'd actually had to read what his father says to him, because for some reason I could never understand the voice. He speaks so soft and so low, that I'd never actually understood what he said when I was a kid. I got a copy of the script, or someone transcribed it in a book or something. I got the point of what he was saying though, Bambi's momma had been got by those hunters. Hunters, incidentally, that would have been fucking HATED even by other hunters. You don't shoot at a doe with a fawn... you just don't.

ANYWAY!

When I worked out that the Corleone Family had taken a contract out on Bambi's Mom and got Joe Pecsi to do her it, I wasn't sad like everyone else. I'm serious, I've got the only dry eyes in house while an entire theater is crying like one big collective bitch.

I wasn't sad though, I was impressed. I was seriously sitting there going "They killed his mom, they actually killed his mom. She's not going to show up later with a limp and the remains of a plaid shirt in her teeth to show she got him in the end. She is just dead."

I would like, for a moment, to remind you about GI Joe. In GI Joe, when a plane was blown up, they showed a guy parachuting away. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.* I noticed it during the first mini-series and once unseen I couldn't unsee it. No one ever died in cartoons, not ever**. Then Bambi's mom got it and I was aware by that time that no one ever died in a cartoon and it sort of blew my world. Later, Optimus Prime died and I realized that there was no such thing as invulnerable. It was an amazing thing, to know someone died. We didn't see it, it's not immediately apparent, but it was a thing and she died.

Only later did I discover that this is considered one of the most traumatic things that ever happened to anyone in the history of ever. I'd never thought ot it as a particularly sad or traumatic moment, but I know that there are people reading this, snotting into tear soaked hankies, demanding I just shut up because they can't it anymore. This still sort of mystifies me, while I understand, I don't fully get the emotional weight people give this moment.

I'm more interested in the fire, or in the discovery of Flower, or the amazingly fantastic art used in the movie.




*Don't even get me started on the movie.
**The evil queen in Snow White not withstanding, but she was old and ugly when they whacked her, so it was okay.

I Don’t Need to Like Your Music, I Need to Like You.

I have a friend who occasionally marvels at the fact that we are in fact, friends. She really liked The Lord of The Rings movies, and I hated how Peter Jackson raped Tolkien’s corpse on screen during Return of The King (in the back, during Legolas’s Mario Moment on the Oliphaunts, you can just see it). While I love a good Kurosawa movie, she mostly liked that I liked Yojimbo, rather than liking it for itself. She was a big fan of Game of Thrones and as you remember, I found it misogynist, overly rapey and despite what some people had told me, about as historically accurate as a Mr. Peabody cartoon. Also, too many characters suffer from To Build a Fire Syndrome, but that’s not important right now! She really didn’t like Sherlock Holmes either, but I love her anyway.

We also don’t agree on what makes good music. She favors things from the more industrial period of the 90s, while I’ve been known to spend a whole day listening to jazz and Celtic music. We don’t actually spit on each other’s choices of music, but we tend to be attracted to different kinds. I think we might find common ground on Jack Off Jill, but I’ve never really discussed it with her. At some point, I probably should.

That’s not the point though. The point is that we’re still friends, despite all these differences. We do have some overlaps in our interests, but there have been times when this friend has asked how she and I can be such good friends when we never seem to agree on anything. She hasn’t asked that in several years though, so either she understands how we can be friends, or she no longer cares. It did seem to bother her for a while though, particularly since she understands that art was one of only three things I actually think are important enough to take seriously. Of course, the fact that she also understood fine art helped. It’s nice that someone can sort of understand that I have a love of both Bruegel and Bosch along with Mondrian and Rothko, while kinda hating Picasso. And besides, anyone who can shoot down my joke about The Nut Gatherers and is able to look at that painting without seeing the inherent lesbianism is someone able to be my Best BFF Forever. Yes, I know, that was the joke!

So where am I going with this? No, really, where was I going? I have totally forgotten.

OH YES! I remember now… The point of that long ramble was that some six or seven years after we first met, we are still close friends. We have shared some music back and forth on occasion, we have traded some movies and even some books, but mostly we just spent time together. We’re both pretty good at listening, and at talking. We tell each other things, we enjoy one another’s company, we are friends. Despite all the interests in other things, we’re pals.

Syd and I have almost no reading material in common. Of all the hundreds of books Syd reads in a year, not one of them are ever written by Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, or even Rex Stout. How does a person go around not reading Rex Stout? SRSLY! As retaliation, I don’t read any oh her books about girls with psychic connections to talking horses. And yet, we’ve been together for… I dunno, 15 years? That sounds close. No! Wait! It’s got to be 18 years. 1994-2012, that’s 18, right?

In here, we start to get in on our main point. I don’t need to like the things you like, nor do you need to like the things I like, for us to get along. We can get along without having to agree on music or paintings, or even TV shows. In fact, as the only two shows I watch with any regularity are Good Eats and Mystery Science Theater 3000, it’s probably for the best if we leave TV out of this. We don’t have to agree on movies, or food, or books, so long as we agree on being able to stand one another for more than seventeen minutes, then we can get along.

That’s how it is for me anyway. I got used to the fact that no one, not even nerds, would ever be into all the things I’m into. It’s just not ever gonna happen. Even if I did one day find a fellow Nero Wolfe fan, they would probably not share my love of cheap horror films. When I find that Cheap Cinema fan I’ve been looking for, she won’t be able to understand my physical need to sit around and watch movies where Japanese people in period dress stand around and talk at each other, sometimes for up to three hours at a time without taking out those swords and killing each other. And so on, and so forth, and it goes on like this too.


Thing is, that’s a good thing in my mind. Yes, there is more here though, than simply accepting that nobody likes the things I like. There is actually elation to be had here. If you’re not into the things I like, there is a possibility that you’ve never tried them. Actually, in my case, there is the distinct probability you’ve never tried at least three of the things I list as my ten favorites. Most people have never listened to Blues Traveler, Prince, Acoustic Alchemy AND Nightnoise. I’ll find something new to you and give you an album to listen to. Just as likely, no matter how wide my musical net has been cast, no matter how many things I’ve heard, there is very likely some band you like that I’ve never been exposed to. I’ve been listening to Alesana lately, because a young friend gave me a couple of their CDs. I’m not going to become their biggest fan, in fact I should be waving my cane and demanding they get offa mah lahn, but I can admit that there is something there. These young troubadours are not entirely without merit.

I like being introduced to new and interesting things, and I like being able to share interests with people. One of the nice things about having a friend who is into, for example, French Action Films, is that they can tell you which ones to watch. They can also tell you which ones best exemplify the genre, which ones to avoid, and which ones are the best even though they’re transgressive. Often, the best movies in a genre are the ones that transgress the rules. If you’ve never listen to Punk, a pal who knows which bands rock the hardest can be a great guide.

The other part of this though, is that even if I don’t actually like your music, choice of movie, or books, I can still like to watch you enjoying them. There are few joys so great as watching someone’s eyes light up when they talk about their favorite band/movie/book/work of art. Particularly if you’re interested in pursuing a relationship with that person, you can tell pretty quickly if you’re going to like them depending on how they talk about such a thing. If you want to know what reaction to have, I love excitement and delight over superiority and hipsterness. The reason I gave Alesana a chance was that the girl in question was so dazzled by her love for this band that I figured I just HAD to see what the fuss was about. Her enthusiasm carried me along far enough to give them a fair shake. After all, even if you’re hating the band, you can like just being with the person who enjoys it. You can even start to see the merit in the thing that brings your friend such pleasure. This is about me liking you, being with you, wanting to see you happy. If I really love you, and of course I do, then my main interest will be wanting to see you enjoy yourself. That will often turn the tide, and bring me at least an appreciation of this thing I don’t get right now.

tl,dr - Sometimes, you really can love something enough for both of us.

Star Wars 3D

Last week, Syd and I saw Sam and Max Star Wars - Episode One: The Phantom Hourglass Menace in 3D!

So here's the thing...

The 3d looked nice, probably the best post converted 3D you're going to see, but it added very little to the whole thing. That was my feeling anyway.

BUT... Okay here's the thing.

We got the Star Wars saga on Bluray for VEWPRF. I asked for it because while I wanted it, I didn't want it to be my fault that we owned it.

Syd and I watched Ep 1 and came to the conclusion that the movie just does not hold up. It's too slow, the dialogue sucks, it was easy to fall into MSTing the movie. Jar Jar is annoying (but less so than the waves of fanboys who bitched about him for 10 fucking years solid) and I still expect to have a Jam Handy movie break out when Anakin asked "I've been wondering, what are midichlorians?"

So we've got that right?

Only... so... like... the movie WORKED for me this time. It worked in a way that it didn't work the first time I saw it.

Maybe it was the years of getting used to it, maybe it was the 3D, maybe it was the big screen, maybe it was being sat between 30-40something losers on my right and 8-12 year olds on my left and preferring the latter group's reaction, but I was able to leave all the BS behind and just enjoy the movie. For a movie that is so clearly crap, that's a big accomplishment. Maybe the 3D played a bigger roll that anyone wants to admit. I don't know, I just know that at the end I turned to Syd, much like I had three weeks earlier and said "It works a lot better on the big screen than it does in our living room."

So yeah, I enjoyed it. The kids sitting next to us, who might have been seeing it for the first time, they enjoyed it. I have no idea if the geeks on the right enjoyed it, I sort of blocked them out because of their constant whining that this one doesn't have Portman's nipples erect against her white shirt.

I liked it, and now I have to wait a year to watch Ep 2 The Wrath of Khan in 3D.

Project Watch 'Em All - Day Three

I finished The Last Swordship yesterday, but it was a struggle. Hard to read subtitles and a story that was cliche as hell. I guessed who the mystery baddie was the first time I saw them on screen.

So today, before I leave for work, I'm watching the Hammer version of The Mummy. So far, it's much better.

Project Watch 'Em All - Day Two

Today I watch The Lost Sword Ship.

I'm hoping the 93 minutes fil;m goes faster than Spartacus did. I'd sort of forgotten that Spartacus ends about 30 minutes before the movie stops running. Epics are always a problem though, and one day, when I get back to writing reviews, I'll explain why.

For now, I'll watch this thing.

I can already tell you, it's gonna be tough. Burned in subtitles and it looks like the edges have been cut off, loosing words on each side.

Project Watch 'Em All - Day One

I have a lot of DVDS that I haven't watched. I have decided it's time to do something about that. I'll watch at least one disc a day, until I've got them all watched. More or less, I may skip special features and I'll stop watching if a movie or show sucks. I'll also skip stuff of Syd's that I have no interest in.

I'm going to start with The Criterion Collection DVD of Spartacus that I got like, a year and a half ago.

I don't know why I've never watched it, I just haven't. I'll let you know how it goes.

Reverse Bechdel

I've been wonder if there are movies thaty would fail a gender reversed Bechdel Test. You remember that right? From Dykes to Watch Out For? Here is the comic that started it. According to bechdetest.com the way to pass a traditional test is to have three items. 1. It has to have at least two women in it 2. Who talk to each other 3. About something besides a man. That site also grades many movies and gives partial credit to those who meet a few of those options. It's pretty shocking how few movies pass this test in any way.

What I've been wondering though is how many movies don't have a man in them at all. How many have only one man? How many that have two or more men have them only talking about a woman? The point here is to find movies that fail the test rather than pass it. Or perhaps to say the only way to really pass a reverse Bechdel is to have only women. I can't think of any woman only (or only one man) movies off the top of my head. So what about men only talking about a woman?

I'm looking over my collection and I'm not finding much that even gets two men only talking about a woman. I've got a lot of movies too, a lot of little independent movies.

Kill Bill almost counts, but a few small scenes kill it. In the wedding rehearsal the preachers talks to most the men about the rehearsal, after the balloon goes up the cop and his son talk about the massacre before getting onto the subject of The Bride. The only men in Better Than Chocolate never speak to each other as far as I remember. I'm not sure if Josie and the Pussycats would pass. I would say I could watch it and find out, but that would mean watching Josie and the Pussycats again.

There is a 1997 movie called Stand-Ins, that might pass. Id' have to get it off Amazon's On-Demand or buy a used copy if I want to watch it again though.

If anyone knows of a movie that even comes close to passing let me know.

Just to remind you, to pass a Reverse Bechdel you'd need to find a movie
1. Where two men only talk about a woman (or don't talk to each other at all)
2. A movie with only one man
OR for full points
3. A movie with no men in it.

If I see a critic this week, I will kick them.

Watching Rififi.

It's a lot like The Asphalt Jungle, and I mean A LOT like it.

Only this is in French so it's "Classier" than some dirty little crime picture made in America 5 years earlier. As a result, Rififi is in the Criterion Collection and Asphalt Jungle barely gets a release as part of a box set.

This is sort of like how Salo is supposed to be this great and wonderful film, but I Spit on Your Grave is a piece of shit.

Funny thing, the Western

I’ve postulated before, but clearly not online because I can’t find evidence of it, that the Spaghetti Western is like Film Noir all over again. Film Noir took a genre that was growing stale, the crime picture, and injected new life into it by adding what at the time was controversial subject matter. Many of the themes contained with in Film Noir are things the mainstream public weren’t either unwilling to discuss or didn’t want to have in their movies. They were able to get away with making these films because they were B Pictures, which means they were made for much less money and thus could still be profitable even if most audiences rejected the film. They often starred B Grade actors or A list people who’s stars had fallen or decided to slum it for a day or two in order to make a more interesting picture.

The Spaghetti Westerns were much the same, taking the worn out Western* for a ride and injecting much needed life into it. Like Film Noir they were cheap, often being made with bits of capital collected from investors all over Europe and starring one or two Americans who were slumming. The only this was that the social morays they wanted to challenge were so taboo that you couldn’t do them in Hollywood at all. Most those things are on the… well… seamy side of things. There were more graphic levels of violence than people had seen before, there was a certain amount of nudity and there was the sort of treatment of women that you just don’t get anymore… with good reason. It’s not even that you can’t do some of those things, but you really shouldn’t. It’s not needed, there is no statement to make there anymore, unless you want to make a statement that you’re still 14 and have no idea how to deal with women… YES I’M TALKING TO YOU ELI ROTH!

Much like Film Noir, Spaghetti Westerns come and go every once in a while. About ten years ago, there wasn’t a lot of people talking about Film Noir besides a few cinema geeks. Slowly the Noir ball started rolling and about five years ago, there was a pretty big wave of Film Noir things suddenly available. I might be my perception, but I seem to remember three companies rolling out Film Noir collections, box sets and what not all at once. In less than 18 months, my collection went from 5 or 6 movies that were called Film Noir to about 30 or 40. I don’t know how many really, I haven’t counted in a while, I’m guessing.

My point is that it had gone from something only movie geeks talked about to something everyone was talking about. For the last two years or so, I’ve been hearing people talking about Westerns and the Westerns of this style specifically, in the same sort of way that they were talking about Film Noir a few years before the DVD explosion happened. I can’t help if people had something kindled by Deadwood, since the serious rumblings started just as that was being canceled. The difference of course is that just about every Western (Pasta based or no) is already on DVD. Whatever horse picture fetish you have from Tom Mix style to John Ford and all the way to the Italians and beyond, you can already get sets, collections and so on. So there isn’t a stream of new discs coming out for you to discover. However, there may be a resurgence going on anyway. There has been a steady stream of New Westerns being made since at least the mid 90s, and some of them have been pretty good. Not many of them have been really big though, they’ve all either been small independent pictures or made only a small dent at the box office. I just wonder if there isn’t going to be a sudden surge of popularity in the mainstream soon.

Part of the reason it’s in the forefront of my mind is that I played Red Dead Redemptionand so a lot of people have sort of come out of the closet as it were as being long time Western fans. The game has been doing fairly well, and it’s really fun if you want to play it. I’m just find it interesting and wonder if a lot of people are going to star clamoring for more westerns.

Personally, I came late to the Western party, but for a good reason. See, Westerns always looked the same to me. All those John Wayne movies where he struts all look exactly alike to me. I’ve seen pretty much all of them as well as every other damn western made between about 1956 and 1989, but with a few exceptions, I really am lost at sea. It’s all guys, being sort of manly in a very Conservative Golden Age sort of way while the women act all submissive and shit. Then they all go on horsey rides, because that was really the only reason they wanted to make these movies. Unless you’re watching an Italian western, then the men are being sort of manly in a very Film Noir sort of way. Tough, but more because they’ve been beaten hard by life instead of because that’s the way Regan likes them. The problem is, all the Spaghetti Westerns more or less look the same too. A lot of guys in long coats and ponchos riding across what is supposed to be the American west, but is CLEARLY Spain or northern Italy.

I actually know more about Westerns from reading about them then watching them. I’ve got a fair few, and I’ve seen a few since my childhood. I should point out that there is a break in my life, about age 18, where I started to really pay attention to movies and things that came before that can become sort of blurred. Unless I’ve seen at movie in my later years, after I started hunting down movies to study on my own, I really can’t distinguish the memory of one western from another. Which one had John Wayne wearing an eye patch? Fucked if I know. Hang on… True Grit, unless he wore one in two movies. My point, and I do have one, is that it seems like the time may be right for everyone to take the old six-shooters again. Might be that we’re due, it would be interesting to see this generation have their hand at the most heavily used genre in film history. Could be cool, but then it could remind us why we put westerns into mothballs in the first place.


*If I tried to talk about how the Western as a genre has risen, fallen, risen again and then fallen hard only to be resurrected it would seriously side track me. Suffice to say, there were a lot of westerns made once upon a time, but by the ‘70s or so it was a more or less dead genre. It’s only kept on the merest hints of life support these days with the occasional movie coming out now and then. Yet, there are still movies being made and there does seem to be at least a small a market hungry for more.

We need another Wizard

You know what 3D hasn't had yet? The Wizard of Oz. I don't mean that someone needs to remake The Wiz in 3D, but that there hasn't been a movie that has demanded a 3D viewing yet. Can you imagine watching The Wizard of Oz without color? It would be horrible, right*? That's my problem with 3D thus far. There hasn't been a movie that NEEDS to be in 3D to really get it. Color was integral to The Wizard of Oz. Interestingly enough, Oz was just the final nail in the "Color is just a gimmick" argument's coffin. It wasn't the first Technicolor film, it wasn't even the first big one that we still remember. In fact, like 3D, color went through several technical stages before they started to get it right. It was 3 strip Technicolor** that really did it. Like 3D, color was around for decades before it went beyond the gimmick stage. Some time I should really do a retrospective on the gimmick of color, because it was also a gimmick for a long time. However, once they got it right, they managed to make it really worth something in just three years.

You had Snow White in 1937, The Adventures of Robin Hood in 1938 and then Wizard of Oz & Gone with the Wind in 1939. In three years, you had a fairly wide collection of movies, pretty much something for everyone. While color was not an integral part to most of those, I think most people would have a problem picturing them without color. No one made Black & White prints like they make 2D prints for people who won't want to see the 3D versions. For that matter, I don't think there were silent versions of early sound movies either.

That's the problem, there hasn't been anything like that yet. Someone has to really sit down and work out visuals for a movie that really ONLY works when seen in 3D. It's not Alice in Wonderland, and it isn't Avatar. Haven't seen it yet, but when it does, it will be the most successful 3D movie ever. Right now, that movie has some serious work to do. If you want to unset the most financially successful 3D movies, hell one of the most successful movies period, you've got to unseat The Stewardesses! Yeah, not Avatar. The 3D movie that made the most money for the least investment was a 1969 skinflick that made 300 times its investment back. What's even more interesting is that according to this review, it was even worse than Avatar. Say what you will about Avatar (and I have) it at least has a plot.



*Yes, yes, I know before 1960-whatever everyone watched it in black and white on TV. Fuck off, I'm trying to make a point here.
**First used for a full length feature in 1935 for Becky Sharp, a movie that exactly no one remembers.

Horror Anthology Movies

Got a double feature of two old horror movies. Tales of Terror and it's spiritual sequel Twice-Told Tales. Both of these are anthology movies with three stories each.

And I got to thinking. I've also got Creepshow and Creepshow 2, Cat's Eye and Tales from the Darkside: The Movie. Is there something about horror that leads it to telling being able to tell stories nice and short? The only non-horror anthology movies I can think of are Heavy Metal and Four Rooms, but I don’t have either of those in my collection. I’ve seen them, but I don’t have them. I do have Dolls, but it’s one of those I’ve never had a chance to watch it yet.

I suppose Sin City might count, but I find those stories too interconnected to make it in my mind. My view of an anthology is that they’re only connected through the frame story. Might be dumb, but there it is. Looking at the Wikipedia list (which is never-EVER wrong) almost all them are horror, one or two I think are just plain wrong*, and only a few that aren't horror. It seems that far more than half are horror though.

I can't help but wonder why that is. Sci-Fi can be nice and short too, can’t it? There are more sci-fi short stories floating around than there are in horror in my experience. It just seems odd that most the little short story movies are horror.



*Comedy sketch comedy is sketch comedy and does not an anthology make.

What I want

I want a movie about Jesus in the form of a blaxploitation picture. I want an Angry Black Jesus. Played by 1973 era Jim Brown or the nearest current equivalent please. And Jesus can’t die at the end. That’s more because in a proper blaxploitation, the brother has to win out over The Man.

I want a secret agent movie where the hero beds every cute slut he comes across, seduces enemy agents and uses them to foil the plans of their evil bosses. I just want said secret agent to be gay and to seduce the male guards. Tiny, TINY change really.

I want a trial movie, which turns out to be the trail of someone involved in what amounts to an action movie. You have the action scenes presented in flashback (so you can still have kick ass action) and then show the victims or witnesses (so we can see the consequences) telling how the action scene later affected them.

And of course… I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAAAAAND

I would say I want a western peopled entirely by folks shorter than Syd, but that exists already and I just need to buy it.

I was going to say that I’d like a serial killer movie where the killer not only isn’t obsessed with toying with the investigator, but doesn’t even know who that person is. However, that movie was released under the title The Silence of the Lambs. I understand it was something of a hit at the time.

Movie Review: Morozko (Father Frost)

While I'm away, have a simple cut and paste job.

Morozko (1964 Gorky Film Studio Dir. Aleksandr Rou) MST3K Episode 13 of Season 8. Airdate: 1997-07-12

You might want to settle in folks, this is gonna take a while.

So here we are, another Russian movie that was on Mystery Science Theater 3000. There were actually three movies that fit this mold. This, Sadko, and a movie called Ilya Muromets, which I own but haven't reviewed yet. Interestingly, not one of them exists on the show under their original name. Sadko became The Magic Voyage of Sinbad, Ilya Muromets became The Sword and the Dragon and this became Jack Frost. Out of the three, this one remains the least changed by the transfer to the West. The dub is actual actors doing the voices rather than two people talking in heavily accented English over the Russian track, and it seems to be the one that was on MST3K, so all should be well. The name isn’t even too far off as the character of Ded Moroz translates to Grandfather Frost (although usually made into just Father Frost) and he fills the same sort of niche as Jack Frost does in American folk lore with a little bit of Santa Claus mixed in. There’s more to it than that, but that will do for this review.

Look, kid. I’m a rooster, I really don’t care if that knit ends up on Ravelry.

So we begin our story with a woman telling the tale from her window. She only shows up here at the very beginning and at the very end, so we won’t talk too much about her. She tells the tale of a poor girl named Nastenka, who lives with her father and step mother, who looks like a comic version of Judi Dench if she was kept from her make-up people and beauty regime for a year. I’m not sure if we’re seeing multiple fairytales mixed into one movie, or if they just cross over, but Nastenka is going to take up aspects of half the Disney Princesses before we’re done. When we meet her, she’s being forced to work for her ugly step-sister, and told to finish making some stockings before dawn. In fact, she’s told if she doesn’t finish the stocking by the time the rooster crows, then Dame Judi will yank her lovely long braid off. This begins the first signs of Nastenka’s very annoying habit. You see, cute little Nastenka is auditioning for the role of Jesus, which she understands was left vacant after the whole crucifixion thing. A rooster shows up, and she stops to go talk to him. I mention this because they actually show the dog sitting down in reverse. There are four or five times in this movie that an animal is shown moving in reverse when they could have just as easily gotten and animal that could, you know, sit or something. It just helps this movie be a little more wacky I guess. Can’t imagine why they’d think it needs the help.

“ Where the hell is Bond?”

She runs to a rooster and begs him not to crow, explaining that she only has one row left. The rooster is sympathetic to her plight, what with her being the Snow White of Russia and all, but claims he’s got to crow when the dawn comes. You know how it is, we all are a slave to The Man in our own little way. Until the glorious revolution that is. Even the rooster knows that if he doesn’t get his stuff done his ass will be on the line. So does she knit faster? No. She runs to the horizon and begs the sun not to rise until she finishes this one last row. I don’t know much about knitting, but I’m guessing it would take less time to just finish the stupid sock than it does to run to the sun and ask it to screw up the fabric of space and time just for her. Still, the sun is sympathetic as well, since she has eyes the size of dinner plates and skin like alabaster. It sinks below the horizon and damn the poor Transylvanians who are waiting for the sun to come up and fry Count Dracula. They aren’t as cute as she is, and those stockings aren’t going to knit themselves. So the sun goes down, she finishes, Dr. Van Helsing dies checking his watch and an almanac while Dracula eats his face, and she shows the sun her pretty stockings. The problem is that finishing the stockings just gets her yelled at because in typical Cinderella fashion, nothings good enough for Dame Judi.

Do I have anything in my teeth? Why yes, I’ve got some awesome stuck in there.

So now we meet the male lead Ivan, and the first thing about him that we learn is that even his mother thinks he’s a douche. That’s not actually a joke. When he emerges, with the worst wig I have EVER seen, his mother begs him not to be a cockbite. She doesn’t use those exact words, but you can tell that there is a measure of cockbitiness about him and his wig isn’t doing him any favors either. If the first thing said about him is that even his mother begs him to stop being such a jerk, what does that say for the rest of the movie? Well may you ask, since he then proceeds to sing a musical version of “I’m Sorry, I Can’t Hear You Over the Sound of How Awesome I Am.” Actually, it starts with all the girls macking on his hot bod and bad wig (I guess his wig just brings all the girls to the yard) and then he proceeds to sing about how awesome he is. Not joking. He actually calls himself “a handsome, jolly lad” and demands people step aside for him in his song before declaring “Ain’t I great? I’m just a delight” and “Nothing’s wrong with me, I’m just right” despite the fact that he has… THAT WIG! So he doesn’t have a self-esteem problem then, though he should. I mean he looks in the mirror about a hundred times in the first five minutes we see him, he should be able to see how bad his wig is. I’m beginning to think, and stop me if I’m wrong, that maybe Ivan is an arrogant prick who is going to learn not to be a massive prick by the end of the movie. Ya think? Maybe? We’ll see.

He took a look at her and kept walking? Is there something wrong with Russian men?

Let’s get to one of this film’s major problems. Actually, it’s a problem many films of this type share. Whenever there is a movie based on fairy tales, there tends to be a sensation of fragmentation within the narrative structure. There are vignettes, and eventually the whole tale does come together, but it’s hard to escape the feeling that the movie could have had a stronger narrative thrust in the first act. I found a version of the folk tale online and the movie must be padded or have another tale in here or something. It’s done better here than in some movies, but it does mean that we meander around for a while without getting anywhere. Speaking of which, the next scene has just started.

It this about my wig?

Ivan is strolling around, talking about how just spiffy he is and how it’s a shame there aren’t two of him so he could kiss himself, when he’s set upon by bandits. These are the greatest bandits in the history of banditry by the way. While waiting for victims to show up, they pull the petals off daisies saying “We will rob them, we won’t rob them.” How can you not love guys like this? Anyway, Ivan stumbles into them and they decide to take his stuff, while not making fun of his wig. You’d think they would, but since most of them are wearing prosthetic noses, they probably feel they can’t complain too much about his artificial head covering. Ivan takes the whole thing pretty calmly, handing over his bag and letting the bandits fight over his rye bread. While the bandits are fighting, the throws their clubs into the air, announcing that they won’t come down until winter. And then… he just walks off. The bandits don’t stop him, or try to beat him up, or inform him that while he has a freaky wig, he does have a real perty mouth. They just let him wander off. Ivan wanders for a while before a mushroom starts talking to him.

After falling on hard times, Gerard Depardieu put on a false beard and joined a band of robbers.

A little guy with a beard and a mushroom hat who wants to play a game with young Ivan. The little man being a magic guy, he challenges Ivan to either a game of Hide & Seek or just a game of who is faster. The dub and subs disagree on this point, what they agree on is that if Ivan wins he’ll gain a nice bow and arrow set that the Mushroom guy just happened to have hanging around. Ivan looses the game, but for being a good sport, the little Mushroom guy gives him the bow and arrows anyway. Ivan starts to run off but the Mushroom dude tells him that he forgot to bow and say thank you for the lovely present. Ivan arrogantly tells him that his appreciation is in another castle and that bears can bow to him. Ivan walks off and the Mushroom make a comment about how the bear will bow but it will be his back that bends. Once again, it’s going to take forever for the pay off of that gag to come.

Wow, Craigslist has gotten specific over the years.

Ivan wanders around a while, kills a goose to take one feather that evidently will lead him to destiny, and comes across Nastenka. She, it seems, is busying herself trying to find Bond so Judi Dench can yell at him. Until Bond remerges, Nastenka waters a stump until flowers grow up in it. Ivan, knowing a hottie when he sees one (unlike some Russian guys I could mention) decides to go over to her and turn on the mack daddiness. The problem is, while he’s telling her about how hot he is and asking if she’ll marry him, she’s sort of unimpressed. I’m guessing it’s because she took one look at his wig and decided against him, but decided not to press that particular issue. She says he’s sort of arrogant, which he objects to on the grounds that he’s so awesome and clearly the best thing in the universe. In order to prove how awesome he is, he tells her he’ll kill a bear with one arrow. Am I missing something about Russians here? Is whacking a bear the same as showing up with flowers and nice poem among the Eastern Slavic people? I’m sort of Celtic and Gallic with a dash of Teuton, so I don’t really know about how other folk’s courting rituals go. Being a viewer of Anime, I’m a little confused by how the Japanese run their mating rituals too.

And thus, the idea for the Bucket Head Knights from Alexander Nevski was born!

Well, it seems Nastenka isn’t impressed either because she bungs a bucket on his head. The Mushroom dude realizes that his moment has come and decides to get Nastenka blamed for his little trick. He bangs those two little twigs, or bells, or whatever it is he’s holding and BOOM(!) Ivan is turned into a bear. At least that wig is gone, right? Well, if anything the bear head looks worse. This freaks Nastenka right the hell out and she faints. Ivan grabs his mirror and checks for her breath. Since he can’t resist his reflection, he also gets a quick look at himself and finding that he’s a bear reacts badly. In fact, he calls Nastenka a witch and claims she did it. This causes Nastenka to sit down and cry. She suffers so much, she’ll probably die for our sins and come back from the dead before the movie is over.

But am I still pretty?

Now, why Nastenka crying into the river should cause flowers to grow in that stump she was working on before, I have no idea. Those tears do some though, and spill from her near alien like eyes. Seriously, do they have to be that big? Anyway, the tears spill from her massive blue orbs and into the stream and this causes the flowers to grow. They grow suddenly, and she sits down and has a proper cry next to them. Ivan runs around, until the Mushroom Man shows up again and then he begs forgiveness. The Mushroom Dude however, instead of turning him back into a person, proceeds to tell Ivan some pretty unpleasant truths about himself. He goes into his selfishness, his arrogance, his narcissism and the fact that he’s never done a good thing for anyone else in his life. Ivan interprets this commentary as a need to go do good deeds, and runs off instead of listening to the Mushroom Dude, who claims that the answer is in another castle. Mushroom dude mentions that he has to collect a hundred stars and defeat Bowser, but Ivan has run off already.

Seriously, look at her! She’s all eyes with a bit of nose and mouth!

We’re then treated to Ivan trying to find people he can do good deeds for, but all the girls think he’s a werewolf and run away from him. Then, for reasons only known to the Russians, we get almost a full half minute of bear cubs running around and grabbing fake toadstools. I have no idea what this is supposed to mean to the movie, but it happens. For 28 seconds, which is a long time on screen, it’s just these two bear cubs running back and forth. They grab a fake toadstool, pick it up in their little arms, and walk back off screen. It can’t be meant to be Ivan, he’s always shown as wearing his clothes and is just bear-headed. Is it symbolic? If I had Slavs instead of Gales, Celts and Teutons in my lineage would I understand this? Is this just some circus act that someone talked the producers into or perhaps the director’s brother in law? And no, this never goes anywhere. It’s just bear cubs grab fake mushrooms and toddle off. It makes no sense! It’s just randomly weird.

What are we even looking at here?

Anyway, Nastenka comes back to the flowers she helped grown on the old stump and they have a little conversation about Ivan. She tells the flowers that she’s hopes she’s not bothering them, all the time talking in the same breathy half whisper of a voice. I checked all three audio channels, and all three actresses portray her in the same way. A soft, half whisper of a voice that tells you that when you eat of the bread and drink of the cup you should do it in remembrance of her. She asks the flowers questions about Ivan, who answer by nodding up and down or shaking from side to side. So either, these are magic flowers, grown from her magic, or she’s batshit crazy and thinks when the wind blows the flowers it’s the flower talking to her. Personally, I’m going to vote for crazy. Being slave to the wicked Judi Dench has cracked her poor mind and now she thinks she can control the dawn and talk to plants. We then go see Ivan trying to do good deeds. He gives a beggar a copeck, but that’s not enough. Can’t buy your way out of trouble kids, at least not for such a low price.

Come on! You can be the Robin to my Batman!

Now we return to the trails of Nastenka, and the cruelties foisted upon her. Her sister and Judi Dench are preparing to meet a suitor and they abuse poor Nastenka the whole time. Wiping her face with soot and wrapping her head in a scarf to cover her long lovely braid. The sister wanted to cut it off, but Dame Judi objects that if she cuts off the braid she’ll have nothing to drag her around the house with. They then comically doll the sister up for the suitor and the matchmaker. We then cross cut back to Ivan, who finds and old woman and helps her with her wood. The old woman is a little too enthusiastic about hopping on his back and getting a piggyback ride though if you ask me. Like, waaaay too enthusiastic. It’s a little creepy to be honest, like she’s been waiting for someone to give her a lift all month and is really going to enjoy this chance.

Sometimes, you don’t need a joke. Sometimes you can just sit back and let the screen cap do all the work.

So we go back to Nastenka’s sister being shown off to the suitor, his mother, the matchmaker while Nastenka is hidden away. While playing up the sister’s attributes, they claim she can cook like a dream, which is a lie because she never does a lick of work ever. The mother and suitor want proof, so they send the sister out to kill and cook a goose. Knowing that humiliation is coming, the townsfolk all show up to watch her fail. When she chases the geese, she falls into the lake. Nastenka has to run to the lake ans save her step system walking across the water instead of doing anything so pedestrian (ironically) as swimming in it. When Nastenka pulls her sister out of the water though, some of the water must have splashed on her because her face is clean and her hair is perfect. She’s not even wet, perfectly on display.

And she stepped on the ball!

While this was happening, Ivan dropped the old woman off at her home, and found that it wasn’t enough of a good deed. The problem was that The Mushroom Guy didn’t want to make him do a good deed, he wanted him to be a better person. Ivan sees the old woman’s stick, and decides to take it back to her. This actually thinking about someone is enough for the Mushroom Dude and he changes him back, at which point Ivan throws the stick down and announces to the world that he’s going to go get Nastenka. The stick disappears, but I would think for the trick to hold he should have taken it back.

Am I still wearing the wig?

Meanwhile, time passes and it becomes winter. Judi Dench tells her husband that she’s tired of Nastenka turning water to wine, raising the dead, curing the possessed, doing that loaves and fishes thing… yeah I’ll stop now. Anyway, she tells Father of The Year here to take his only daughter out to the woods and leave her there to die. And he does! WOW! What a dad! Actually, half way into the woods he decides he’s not going to do it. And seeing that her father is having a moment of courage that can’t possibly be maintained for more than two minutes, she hops off the sled so that we can tell everyone she was killed by men she loved. And seriously, when the father gets back to the house and discovers his daughter isn’t with him? He slinks right back into being the coward he was before. I hate this old man. Even the dog has nothing but contempt for him.

I haven’t had a bowel movement in fifteen years.

Ivan wanders through the wood, with no coat, hat, scarf, thermal underpants, or anything sold by either Carhartt or North Face. All he has to keep him warm is his very stupid looking wig. Still, he must be doing okay, since he’s clearly been carrying on all this time. Wandering through snow and ice, shouting Nastenka’s name over and over again. That is until he comes to the most awesome cabin in the WORLD! See, this is a cabin that walks around on chicken feet, and when it tilts the snow doesn’t shift, which means that BABA YAGA has entered the tale! WOOO HOOO!!! It seems that Baba Yaga knows Ivan, but he calls her Hunch back fairy in the dub and just old witch in the subtitles. Then comes an awesome bit of comedy. Baba Yaga wants the house to face the woods and Ivan wants the house to face him, so they go back and forth, stomping on the ground to make the house listen to them. It goes about five or six times and Baba Yaga keeps doing a little dance every time she comes out of the door. I know how dumb it is, but it cracks me up every single time.

See if you can get a gumball in my mouth from there.

Eventually, Baba Yaga announces that she’s had it with these melon farming snaked on this melon pale and gets the trees around her cabin to beat Ivan up. Seriously, there is nothing about this part of the movie that isn’t awesome. Once the trees throw him into her cabin, the trees hop in and push Ivan onto a large baking peel and get ready to shove him in to an oven. But the awesome doesn’t stop there! Ivan turned around and he doesn’t know how one should go about it. Seriously? Has that worked for anyone in the history of ever? Well, she falls for it, so that’s one. So, complaining about what they’re teaching kids in school these days, Baba Yaga shows him how to sit. This yields what, in hindsight, should have been predictable results. He shoves her in the oven and tosses the trees out into the snow. I’m not sure he notices, but his wig slips back quite a way during this event. He lets her out and tells her to tell him where he can find Nastenka, since that was the whole reason for his visit here.

What it’s gonna take to get you into one of these babies today?

We then cut to the other story, where a song has started and some singing has begun. It turns out to be Grandfather Frost, who at 48 minutes and 45 seconds finally shows up in a movie that bears his name! The whole movie is only like 84 minutes long by the way, so it’s taken this long to get to the title character. It also occurs to me that this is getting quite long and we’re only half way though. However, most the insanity is actually over and from here on out we basically just have plot and stuff. Frost wanders around, putting snow on the trees in some pretty good reverse filming. Normally, with someone with flowing robes, it’s very easy to tell that the film is running in reverse because of how the fabric flows. The actor and crew who did this though are great and the only sign is the obvious one that the trees shudder a bit and suddenly have snow leap up onto their branches.

I’m here! I’m here! Don’t start the movie without me!

Frost comes across Nastenka, who is freezeing to death in the snow and asks if she’s cold. Nastenka lies and tells him that she’s fine, and he rewards her lies. He takes pity on her and wraps his big coat around her. She confirms her attempt at stealing the throne of Jesus by telling Frosty that if she takes his coat, he’ll be cold so he better not. A bird lands on his staff and she proves how much you should hate her by warble-whispering ‘a bird’ like she’s never seen one before. It’s the whisper voice that bugs me with her, she never raises her voice or speaks in anything but that breathy “I’m so adowabwe that you must wuv me so evew much” sort of voice. The bird lands on the staff, becomes a lump of ice and falls off. While she morns the loss of the bird and her frustrating inability to bring it back to life despite touching it, he explains that whoever touches the thing will freeze and never wake up again. I mention this because he all but looks into the camera and shouts “Did everybody get that? Don’t want you to miss it when it becomes a plot point later!” They get on his rocket powered ice sleigh and go back to his big palace. Can I point out how awesome his outfit is and how annoying it is that our Santa just wears a big red fur coat? Father Frost’s outfit is so awesome that Santa looks sort of dull and boring by comparison.

With my new frosted highlights, I’m even cuter!

We go back to Baba Yaga telling Ivan all about how to find Nastenka, which turns out to be simply sending a little sled with a pig’s head on it to find her, which sending a cat to get there before them and pull a trick on Ivan. She keeps dancing as she goes into the house after letting Ivan go, she’s so awesome. I want to ask Baba Yaga over to have dinner with me. She’d be a hoot! Point of order, all the animals are just run backwards in this. The cat runs up the steps, and instead of shooting it running down again, they just reverse the film so the cat obviously walks backwards. Don’t know why they keep doing that.

Huh. Normally that works on the first try.

The trick is that the cat runs by Nastenka and, for our sins, causes her to touch the tip of Frost’s staff (scepter you perv!) and she turns into a cutecicle. The cat and sleigh both get back to Baba Yaga and she rewards them happily, proving that she might be evil but she likes cats and thus can’t be all bad. The movie even mentions the whole anyone who touches the staff turns to ice thing again. Her dog senses a disturbance in the Force and runs to lead Ivan the rest of the way to the house. They get to Frost’s house only to find she’s turned transparent, which is supposed to indicate frozenness. Ivan apologizes to Nastenka, which causes her to come back to life. He followers find only that the boulder has been pushed out of the way. Anyhow, she wakes up, Frost and the dog walk backwards again when just walking out would have done fine. Ivan brags at how he’s not a braggart anymore, and this time Nastenka thinks it’s cute and agrees to marry him. Baba Yaga isn’t through with them though, she knows this movie has twenty more minutes and we’ve got to have a big finish.

Did I leave the oven on?

We go back to the house of the old man, where Judi Dench is shouting at him for getting rid of Nastenka. It seems that without her to abuse and work like a slave, life isn’t fun anymore. While complaining though (or speaking of the devil one might say) Nastenka and Ivan come home to show they’ve made good. It seems that by virture of being cute and having big eyes polite, Frost has given them coats and a big sleigh and a big box of jewels for a dowry. Sidenote: I have got to get a Russian seamstress, those people knew how to dress! SRSLY! While he had an awesome coat, Ivan still has that ugly stupid wig. Nastenka tells her father all that happened and how being cute won her all the bling she could ever want.

She is just not impressed with ABC’s new Thursday night line-up.

Now, the story isn’t quite over yet. If this were a German tale, it undoubtedly would be. The good people were rewarded, that’s about it as far as Grimm’s goes. But this is a Russian tale, so there must be some misery before we’re through. The step sister demands to be take out to the woods so she can get a chest of jewels and a husband like Nastenka got. The problem is that the sister is not cute and doesn’t have big eyes spoiled so she insults Frost and demands these things from him. Now, in some versions of the folktale, Frost leaves her to freeze to death, but this is a children’s movie made in the 60s and even the filthy stinkin’ commies aren’t going to do that. You have to wait a little while though, because we have to have the pay off to the club thing from about a million years ago.

Nice coat, shame about the wig.

You remember the bandits from the beginning of the movie? Well, they don’t like the cold and Baba Yaga offers them more money than they’ve ever seen to whack Nastenka and Ivan. I love the person playing Baba Yaga. Georgi Millyar gives so much life and fun to this character. I want this Baba Yaga to come to my birthday party. I have GOT to see Baba Yaga drunk sometime, cause that’d be awesome. So, the bandits take on the commission and jump Ivan and Nastenka, almost causing Ivan to loose his wig in the process. However, just when our… do we call them heroes? Anyway, when it looks darkest for our heroes, those clubs Ivan threw at the beginning fall from the sky and knock out each bandit in turn. Then they kick Baba Yaga in the butt and send her on her way.

I have doubts! Not about anything specific, just doubts.

For our final bit of movie, we’ve got the return of the sister, who is on a small sled pulled by pigs. The dowry turns out to be a box of crows and the whole town turns out to laugh at her again. I feel sort of sorry for the sister at this point, because the movie is sort doing that “You see, ugly people are horrible and deserve to have bad things happen to them” thing and I don’t like that. Also, while she’s spoiled, they over do it and she’s just a product of bad parenting. The sister was sort of crapped on by this movie and I feel bad for her. The father then throws off his coat and tells Judi Dench that he’s going to make the rules now, because seeing his wife publicly humiliated gave him some backbone or something. Anyway, at that point the movie is over and all that’s left is to have Ivan and Nastenka’s wedding feast where she is as lacking of personality and pointless as she’s been this whole movie and Ivan wears and even uglier wig.

You want to see how bad this wig is? Look!

This movie is pretty good, and in places it’s really excellent, but I hate that wig. When you reach the end you sort of notice that Nastenka has made no progress as a character at all, she’s just been a sort of Christ figure and a pretty thing for the boy to eventually win. However, it’s an inventive and fun little movie, and it doesn’t even cost very much on Amazon, you do have to get it via the marketplace, but it still won’t run you much more than $20. The DVD has about 9 subtitle options, but the Russian, French and English dub tracks are all good and I think they were all dubbed so you don’t even need to worry about loosing part of the performance if you choose to listen in English. But you will need the subtitles for the songs, which aren’t dubbed.

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

Also, sorry this got so long. It’s a Holiday special though, right? They play this movie on Czech TV every year between Christmas and New Years, so it counts. It’s fun and it’s cute and it takes place in the same alternate dimension where The Adventures of Robin Hood takes place. It’s that super colorful light hearted romp you can watch with the kids. See? I like some things, they’re just all fricking weird.

I’ll catch ya on the flip side! Peace out G!
(I’m at a loss weather I love this lady or Baba Yaga more)

You wanna watch the MST3K Episode? Okay. I'll embed it for you. Just for you though.

Black Cinema

It occurred to me today that I haven’t seen much about what used to be called Race Films. That is, movies made for a black audience with black actors and sometimes with black writers, directors and producers. These were the sort of movies that would have things like “An All Colored Cast” on the on the poster and would rarely be shown to white audiences. These were before the Blacksplotation period of filmmaking. I’m not talking about blacksploitation movies, these are earlier than that. By the way, can anyone tell me if wikipedia’s spelling as Blaxploitation is correct? I’m not sure I’ve ever seen it written that way and it looks a little weird.

I’ve seen parts of Hallelujah! and The Emperor Jones sounds familiar, but beyond that this seems to be a pretty much forgotten period in cinema. If anything, it seems like a lot of white critics are embarrassed to talk about it, because it represents segregation and instead of discussing that topic they’d rather segregate their reviews… which is ironic when you think about it.

Sort of like Stepin Fetchit has been excised from the movies he was in, which is supposed to be sensitive because they’re removing a stereotype from the screen, but it always reads to me as “Oh my GOD! What is that black person doing in my classic movie? Get him off! GET HIM OFF!!!!” I’d rather have the portrayal, examine it for what it is, and then discuss it than try to pretend it never happened. I’ve been told that the role isn’t completely negative, and that it represents a sly subversion, but since I've never actually seen a movie with Stepin Fetchit in it, I can't judge for myself.

I decided that I want to see some of these movies, so I found this site that has some lists and some reviews and I’m going to gather up some of these old movies and check them out.

I can find lots of crappy Grindhouse sets and Exploitation sets, surely a set of old black movies shouldn't be that hard to find right?

...he said knowing exactly how tough finding something he wants can be.

I wonder

How different would the world be if John Woo directed Duck Soup?

5 Romantic Comedies I’ll Actually Watch and Might Enjoy

5 Romantic Comedies I’ll Actually Watch and Might Enjoy

I’ve decided to be dogmatic about the definition of a Romantic Comedy in that it has to be a comedic film in which the romance is the central story. No claiming that just because it’s a comedy and there is a romance that it must count. If I did that, I could name Five Marx Brothers’ movies and knock off for lunch right now.

NO!

They must be actual Romantic Comedies. So let’s see how my list would work out in reverse order…



5. Lady and the Tramp
I’ll admit right now, after deciding on a number, I found myself at a loss to fill all the slots. One of the chief problems of course being that often Romantic Comedies are neither. Not funny, the relationships feel forced in that “Pretty Male Lead + Pretty Female Lead = Bed Bouncing” sort of way. So instead I opted for padding and chose a Disney movie. That should tell you how hard it was for me to come up with 5 of these things. There will be more padding later.
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4. When Harry Met Sally...
Seems strange now, to think that this movie didn’t exist at some point. It is the launch pad for pretty much every Romantic Comedy for the next ten years or so. They all used the old standards, all turned the movies into Seinfeld like “Men are like this, but women are like this” observations. It’s still a good movie, but it gets dropped to the 4 slot because it spawned many ugly children and I blame it for them.
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3. Better Than Chocolate
This Canadian Lesbian Romantic Comedy from 1999 (*whew* I am done giving this movie categories now) is far from perfect but it is charming and fun. At 91 minutes it also manages not to be long enough to wear out its welcome. If I have a complaint it’s that there are one two many storylines and that not all the stories are given equal treatment. Frankly, once again the bisexuals get shunted to one side to make way for the officially and fully gay. It’s a shame because according to the commentary there were scenes that would have fleshed out the bi character but they were dumped because they needed to trim for time. Why they didn’t trim the lip-sync dance numbers instead will remain a mystery to me forever, but whatever. It’s not the Seven Samurai of lesbian comedies, but it’s cute and funny and worth at least one viewing.
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2. A Fish Called Wanda
It’s almost a heist flick, almost a sex comedy, almost a crime picture, but I choose it for this list so it’s a Romantic Comedy sez I! I said there would be more padding! Actually, the romance works in this movie in my view. It’s also genuinely funny in its own right. Not much of this movie creaks with age, it remains a funny and intelligent movie. Besides, every once in a while you need to include a movie where a stuttering animal lover fails to kill an old woman but can manage to whack her dogs in a list of Romantic Comedies. I am a very sick man.
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1. My Man Godfrey
Because it’s the best of the bunch, that’s why! This is one of my favorite comedies hands down, without classification. The story of a tramp being taken in by a socialite and turned into a butler only to be more than he seems may be more than a little silly, but it works. Actually, since we’re close to having wide spread Hoovervilles again, it might just be worth a look now too. This is a good example of the screwball comedy, which people still try to make now but can’t seem to really get a handle on. Probably because they don’t have Carol Lombard anymore, who was a serious hottie back when it meant something. Actually they also had William Powell who was no slouch himself.
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