Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Stop looking like sausages damnit!
One of my primary wishes is for my photos of seals not to look like sausages with fins. This is incredibly hard, because seals look like sausages with fins in real life too.
However, in this set I think I actually made them look sort of like animals...
Or at least, less like sausages.
However, in this set I think I actually made them look sort of like animals...
Or at least, less like sausages.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Polar Bear Photo
I would like to call this photo "Damn You Auto Focus!"
However, as this was the effect I was going for, I think it would be slightly disingenuous.
However, as this was the effect I was going for, I think it would be slightly disingenuous.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Preview
Guess where I went today? Go on, you'll never guess. It's going to take a while to sort everything, because everyone was playing today and they all had snow on their nose.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Kids today
Just watched part of B.o.B - Airplanes...
COME BACK TO US PRINCE*! ALL IS FORGIVEN! We'll even pretend to like Graffiti Bridge if it'll help!
My actual problem with most pop music today isn’t that it sounds so different from what we had when I was a kid, but that most of it sounds exactly the same. It's like, no one has bothered to make any changes in pop over the last 20 years or so. All the songs, save a few, sound like they could have been made at any time since I became a teenager. Only the autotune gives me a hint, and that's not a good thing.
*Pre-1990 if you can.
COME BACK TO US PRINCE*! ALL IS FORGIVEN! We'll even pretend to like Graffiti Bridge if it'll help!
My actual problem with most pop music today isn’t that it sounds so different from what we had when I was a kid, but that most of it sounds exactly the same. It's like, no one has bothered to make any changes in pop over the last 20 years or so. All the songs, save a few, sound like they could have been made at any time since I became a teenager. Only the autotune gives me a hint, and that's not a good thing.
*Pre-1990 if you can.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Then why watch?
Am I getting older (and thus less willing to put up with the bitching of others) or is the world offering more chances to avoid what you don’t like? Just one example, that Bieber kid. I’ve heard enough of his music to know I don’t want to hear anymore, so I avoid him. I’ve never heard a complete song, I can sort of pick him out of the line up if the other people in the line up are all 35 year old Asian men with dueling scars on their left cheeks, but that’s about it. I’m not interested in Justin Bieber, and I never hear or see him unless someone brings him up.
Now granted, I rarely listen to the radio, and I don’t have cable anymore, so I’m kind of limited in how I get things. Even if I still had those things though, it would be easy for me to avoid The Bieber if I wanted to. If I had radio, I would probably get satellite radio. If I still had cable, I would watch channels where he wasn’t going to be on anyway. Not because I am trying to avoid Der Bieber, but because his circle and mine rarely intersect. None of that is the point though, whatever the connection between us might be is irrelevant because I wouldn’t care one way or another. I’m not interested in another teen pop sensation saying the same shit that I found trite and stupid when I was his age, but I don’t begrudge anyone who wants to listen to his stuff. We’ve all got to have a moment where we hear things for the first time. And at my age, I feel I can wait him out. I’ve seen enough of these instant pop stars come and go that I feel at this point I can time the rest of his career on and egg timer if I felt inclined. However, I don’t. I’m comically dismissive of La Bieber, but I really just don’t care.
Let’s just say I hated him though, lets say that I was going to stop listening to Just a Minute because if someone mumbles it sounds like they’re saying that kid’s name. The internet gives me so much else to cast my attention on. I could download millions of books, thousands of hours of radio shows, more videos than you can shake a dead marmoset at… and let me tell you, there is a lot of shaking in a dead marmoset. I’m not even talking about illegal downloads, the legal stuff can overwhelm you all on it’s own. Once you get to illegal downloads, you’re awash in more information than you know what to do with.
My point is, I feel that it’s pretty easy to avoid crap. When I hear people bitching about Il Bieberino, I can’t help but wonder “Don’t you have something else that could take up your time?” I don’t mean people who are annoyed because they think he’s talentless or running at about 14:56 of his allotted 15 minutes. I mean people who really seem intimately aware of his music, his personality, and what he said recently. The only conclusion I can come up with is that these are people who follow Das Bieber because… they hate him so much? I honestly don’t understand following someone you don’t like because it seems like there is enough to distract you from him.
I can get that once upon a time there were only 7 albums released a year and if you wanted to be up to date you had to buy all of The Beatles stuff even if, like James Bond, you didn’t like them. Even in the 80s, if you wanted to be in on pop music you kind of had to listen to Madonna, Prince and Cher. As I remember those days, it was those three, Michael Jackson, and Ozzy. One or two other guys came and went, but for the most part you could keep up without struggling. These days though, there’s so much that you’re forced to skip some of it. Even when talking about mainstream, the net on has be cast so wide that you’re bound to skip things no matter what you do.
As a result, it seems that much more forgivable to avoid something like The Biebster. So you don’t keep up on him, so what? There is so much else that might capture your interest that just keeping up with things you do like could become a full time pursuit. In fact, if my own backlog is any indication, there isn’t enough time for the things I like listening to, reading, watching, whatever. Just the things I want to consume take up all my entertainment time.
As a result, I’ve been finding myself sort of loosing patients with people who sit around bitching about how this show they watch isn’t any good. Okay, if it’s bad, move on. I can understand a show that used to be good, but has dropped off. I’m not talking about that though. I’ve heard people complaining about a show they watch that they never thought was good. Why sit around watching a show, sometimes for months and years, if you hate it? Are you that dedicated to watching TV? Must you never turn it off, not even for an hour? These are the people who have told me that I should really watch a show because in third season it really picks up and gets good. The question as to why I can’t start watching in Third Season is never actually answered beyond them staring at me in disbelief like I just blew their mind with my little rule breaking. Of course the unasked question, “Why should I listen to you? You watched shit for two years and were really impressed when it improved slightly in the third year.” will never get an answer. Hell, even Babylon 5 (which had a notoriously rocky start) at least shows promise in the first season and has some really good episodes.
So what I’m wondering is, am I the crazy one here? Shouldn’t something bad and unentertaining be easily rectified? If The Beib isn’t turning your crank, aren’t there like, a million records out there you could buy instead? Isn’t there so much worth watching, reading, listening to that you could replace any garbage with something you might call quality almost instantly?
I’m not advocating you take a hard hand at everything in your entertainment. A mediocre book as been saved by a great ending enough times that once I start a book I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt until the end. However, when Agatha Christie gets on my nerves (around the fifth sentence usually) I put her books down and pick up a radio show based on it, because I like her stories but loath her style. Seriously Aggie, the world is not made up solely by people with heart or egg shaped faces! Now that we’ve got the requisite tangent out of the way, maybe I can end this post.
Hmm, conclusion? Nah, fuck that, let’s just end it right here.
Now granted, I rarely listen to the radio, and I don’t have cable anymore, so I’m kind of limited in how I get things. Even if I still had those things though, it would be easy for me to avoid The Bieber if I wanted to. If I had radio, I would probably get satellite radio. If I still had cable, I would watch channels where he wasn’t going to be on anyway. Not because I am trying to avoid Der Bieber, but because his circle and mine rarely intersect. None of that is the point though, whatever the connection between us might be is irrelevant because I wouldn’t care one way or another. I’m not interested in another teen pop sensation saying the same shit that I found trite and stupid when I was his age, but I don’t begrudge anyone who wants to listen to his stuff. We’ve all got to have a moment where we hear things for the first time. And at my age, I feel I can wait him out. I’ve seen enough of these instant pop stars come and go that I feel at this point I can time the rest of his career on and egg timer if I felt inclined. However, I don’t. I’m comically dismissive of La Bieber, but I really just don’t care.
Let’s just say I hated him though, lets say that I was going to stop listening to Just a Minute because if someone mumbles it sounds like they’re saying that kid’s name. The internet gives me so much else to cast my attention on. I could download millions of books, thousands of hours of radio shows, more videos than you can shake a dead marmoset at… and let me tell you, there is a lot of shaking in a dead marmoset. I’m not even talking about illegal downloads, the legal stuff can overwhelm you all on it’s own. Once you get to illegal downloads, you’re awash in more information than you know what to do with.
My point is, I feel that it’s pretty easy to avoid crap. When I hear people bitching about Il Bieberino, I can’t help but wonder “Don’t you have something else that could take up your time?” I don’t mean people who are annoyed because they think he’s talentless or running at about 14:56 of his allotted 15 minutes. I mean people who really seem intimately aware of his music, his personality, and what he said recently. The only conclusion I can come up with is that these are people who follow Das Bieber because… they hate him so much? I honestly don’t understand following someone you don’t like because it seems like there is enough to distract you from him.
I can get that once upon a time there were only 7 albums released a year and if you wanted to be up to date you had to buy all of The Beatles stuff even if, like James Bond, you didn’t like them. Even in the 80s, if you wanted to be in on pop music you kind of had to listen to Madonna, Prince and Cher. As I remember those days, it was those three, Michael Jackson, and Ozzy. One or two other guys came and went, but for the most part you could keep up without struggling. These days though, there’s so much that you’re forced to skip some of it. Even when talking about mainstream, the net on has be cast so wide that you’re bound to skip things no matter what you do.
As a result, it seems that much more forgivable to avoid something like The Biebster. So you don’t keep up on him, so what? There is so much else that might capture your interest that just keeping up with things you do like could become a full time pursuit. In fact, if my own backlog is any indication, there isn’t enough time for the things I like listening to, reading, watching, whatever. Just the things I want to consume take up all my entertainment time.
As a result, I’ve been finding myself sort of loosing patients with people who sit around bitching about how this show they watch isn’t any good. Okay, if it’s bad, move on. I can understand a show that used to be good, but has dropped off. I’m not talking about that though. I’ve heard people complaining about a show they watch that they never thought was good. Why sit around watching a show, sometimes for months and years, if you hate it? Are you that dedicated to watching TV? Must you never turn it off, not even for an hour? These are the people who have told me that I should really watch a show because in third season it really picks up and gets good. The question as to why I can’t start watching in Third Season is never actually answered beyond them staring at me in disbelief like I just blew their mind with my little rule breaking. Of course the unasked question, “Why should I listen to you? You watched shit for two years and were really impressed when it improved slightly in the third year.” will never get an answer. Hell, even Babylon 5 (which had a notoriously rocky start) at least shows promise in the first season and has some really good episodes.
So what I’m wondering is, am I the crazy one here? Shouldn’t something bad and unentertaining be easily rectified? If The Beib isn’t turning your crank, aren’t there like, a million records out there you could buy instead? Isn’t there so much worth watching, reading, listening to that you could replace any garbage with something you might call quality almost instantly?
I’m not advocating you take a hard hand at everything in your entertainment. A mediocre book as been saved by a great ending enough times that once I start a book I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt until the end. However, when Agatha Christie gets on my nerves (around the fifth sentence usually) I put her books down and pick up a radio show based on it, because I like her stories but loath her style. Seriously Aggie, the world is not made up solely by people with heart or egg shaped faces! Now that we’ve got the requisite tangent out of the way, maybe I can end this post.
Hmm, conclusion? Nah, fuck that, let’s just end it right here.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Hey look, I'm posting photos again, what a novelty!
Casue when have I shown off my photographic so-called skills lately? I mean... SRSLY!
I know, some of these, if not mpost, you've seen before. I was clearing out one place where I had photos and putting them on flickr and BESIDES, a lot of people haven't seen these. Even if you have, most of them are nice photos and worth seeing again.
I know, some of these, if not mpost, you've seen before. I was clearing out one place where I had photos and putting them on flickr and BESIDES, a lot of people haven't seen these. Even if you have, most of them are nice photos and worth seeing again.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
5 things (haven't done this in a while edition)
1. Tycho Brahe was sort of a dick, but he had a metal nose so I give him a pass.
2. You know what I’m going to miss in the future? Gay singers with strangely androgynous lyrics. Without the need for the closet, there will be less people sort of, kind of, staying in it, but not really.
3. When I get around to writing my “Kiss Me Now” list of great lines, the phrase I don’t like sand, it’s coarse and hard, not like you will NOT be on the list. The sad thing is, that line probably sounded awesome in George Lucas’s head. It would be been really something, but it isn’t.
4. I have never motorboated a woman’s breasts, nor have I wanted to. I find the idea, and the fascination it holds in some men’s minds, sort of disturbing.
5. You know what the orange juice needs? Bourbon and Rose’s Lime! You know what I don’t have in the house? Bourbon and Rose’s Lime! I’ve got gin, but no soda or vermouth. I’ve got scotch, but there are only certain situations under which I am prepared to drink scotch and this ain’t one of them. I’ve got some weird ass liquor made from hazelnuts, but quite frankly I’m not that desperate. Besides, I’ve carefully stage-managed things to avoid having any of the proper ingredients near each other, lest drinking alone ensue. After all, this ain’t December!
And no, you can’t swap bourbon for scotch because we aren’t barbarians here! Also, still don’t have any Rose’s Lime. See how carefully I’ve planned this?
2. You know what I’m going to miss in the future? Gay singers with strangely androgynous lyrics. Without the need for the closet, there will be less people sort of, kind of, staying in it, but not really.
3. When I get around to writing my “Kiss Me Now” list of great lines, the phrase I don’t like sand, it’s coarse and hard, not like you will NOT be on the list. The sad thing is, that line probably sounded awesome in George Lucas’s head. It would be been really something, but it isn’t.
4. I have never motorboated a woman’s breasts, nor have I wanted to. I find the idea, and the fascination it holds in some men’s minds, sort of disturbing.
5. You know what the orange juice needs? Bourbon and Rose’s Lime! You know what I don’t have in the house? Bourbon and Rose’s Lime! I’ve got gin, but no soda or vermouth. I’ve got scotch, but there are only certain situations under which I am prepared to drink scotch and this ain’t one of them. I’ve got some weird ass liquor made from hazelnuts, but quite frankly I’m not that desperate. Besides, I’ve carefully stage-managed things to avoid having any of the proper ingredients near each other, lest drinking alone ensue. After all, this ain’t December!
And no, you can’t swap bourbon for scotch because we aren’t barbarians here! Also, still don’t have any Rose’s Lime. See how carefully I’ve planned this?
Monday, February 14, 2011
Metric Time
I find it interesting that time is the only measurement that has never been successfully turned metric. There have been attempts, but Swatch Internet Time was a joke, Decimal time was French and thus ignored, and no one much cares about metric time as a whole. I'm not sure anyone could really get into the Ke and we seem to like our weeks to be 7 days long instead of the 10 days that the French version would have given us. Of course, the French version was part of the revolution and was aimed at getting rid of Sunday because they wanted to get rid of religion after listening to Imagine too many times.
things
You know a word you never hear anymore? Flibbertigibbet.
And now, for the hope of bringing a smile, tyhe most absurd thing I could think to say earlier today...
There was a young barmaid from Sale,
On her breasts were the prices of ale.
And on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was exactly the same but in braille.
Anyway, let's have some photos
And now, for the hope of bringing a smile, tyhe most absurd thing I could think to say earlier today...
There was a young barmaid from Sale,
On her breasts were the prices of ale.
And on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was exactly the same but in braille.
Anyway, let's have some photos
Saturday, February 12, 2011
I know a bad craftsman blames his tools, but...
I'm starting to think I've gone as far as I can with my little Sony Cyber-shot. I know I've got a long way to go before producing professional looking shots, but I fancy some of my pictures are pretty good. Considering I've never taken any photography classes (they expensive yo) and worked out everything on my own, I don't think I've done too bad.
However, I still think it's probably time for me to get an SLR camera, but those is pricey. If I were to stick with Sony, the cheapest I could get would be around $450.
I suppose I could sell prints as a fund raiser. I've got a flickr account full of photos people say they love. I can get prints made for 4x6, 5x7 and 8x10 really easily.
Would people want to buy prints of some of my photos? If so, what sort of prices would you be willing to pay? Hell, I know places where I can make entire photobooks for your coffee table if that interests anyone. I'd have tpo check what the expenses on print making and shipping would be, but that's no big deal.
However, I still think it's probably time for me to get an SLR camera, but those is pricey. If I were to stick with Sony, the cheapest I could get would be around $450.
I suppose I could sell prints as a fund raiser. I've got a flickr account full of photos people say they love. I can get prints made for 4x6, 5x7 and 8x10 really easily.
Would people want to buy prints of some of my photos? If so, what sort of prices would you be willing to pay? Hell, I know places where I can make entire photobooks for your coffee table if that interests anyone. I'd have tpo check what the expenses on print making and shipping would be, but that's no big deal.
Boy History and Girl History
In case you’re wondering where I stand on various histories. None of these have very good reasons, it’s just a sense and feel I get about them. Obviously I have some backing, knowing a lot of people who are at least interested in history, if not obsessive about it.
Greek Philosophers and Government – Girl History
Greek Warfare – Boy History
Greek Mythology – Androgynous, but girls seem to enjoy the gods while boys enjoy the heroes.
Romans – Boy History
Egyptians –Girl History
The Celts – Could go either way. Ancient Celtic art seems to be pretty evenly enjoyed by both sexes.
Medieval Literature – Girl History. While not exclusive, I’ve found girls are fare more likely to have read Chaucer and Geoffrey of Monmouth than boys are.
Medieval Knights – Strangely, anotherbiunisexual group. However, girls are much more into the myth and romance of knights while boys are more into the solid facts.
Medieval Architecture – Boy History. Again, not exclusive by any standard, but only about one in ten girls will give a shit about castles and such while boys are nine out of ten. Everything changes when the Gothic cathedrals are broken out though, everybody loves a bit of gothic.
Skipping the Renaissance because it’s fairly evenly balanced on almost all points. True, girls are more into the pretty dresses and boys are more into the cannons, but beyond that they’re all over the place.
The Enlightenment…
Philosophy and social movements – Girls
Science – Boys
The American Revolution – Girls
The American Civil War – Boys
The Founding Fathers – Girls… EXCEPT!
Ben Franklin – Boys (Cause Benny was a pimp and we respect that)
Teddy Roosevelt – Boys
The rest of those Victorian and Edwardian ponces – girls
Gangsters – Boys
The Jazz Age – Girls
Jazz Music – Either
And from there I sort of run out of things. I think because the 20th Century is been pretty easy to split. You know who is interested in cars and wars and who is interested in musicals and Audrey Hepburn.
Now that you know where your gender expectations are, it’s up to you to defy them. Boys! Now is the time to express your interest in the Regency Period with all the pretty dresses and racism that goes along with it. Girls, now would be a lovely time to express the joy that you have in looking at suits of armor in the museum and pointing out which of it was battle, which was display and which was tournament armor. After all the only reason to have gender roles is to smash them with hammers.
Sadly you can probably guess that I am completely on the boy side of this list, but then I would be. It’s a list of my impressions on which gender is interested in which parts of history. I’m hardly going to say that an interest in the machines and science behind the Industrial Revolution is girl stuff. If I, as a boy, am interested in it than it is ipso facto boy stuff. The effect the Industrial Revolution had on society can be girl stuff though.
Greek Philosophers and Government – Girl History
Greek Warfare – Boy History
Greek Mythology – Androgynous, but girls seem to enjoy the gods while boys enjoy the heroes.
Romans – Boy History
Egyptians –Girl History
The Celts – Could go either way. Ancient Celtic art seems to be pretty evenly enjoyed by both sexes.
Medieval Literature – Girl History. While not exclusive, I’ve found girls are fare more likely to have read Chaucer and Geoffrey of Monmouth than boys are.
Medieval Knights – Strangely, another
Medieval Architecture – Boy History. Again, not exclusive by any standard, but only about one in ten girls will give a shit about castles and such while boys are nine out of ten. Everything changes when the Gothic cathedrals are broken out though, everybody loves a bit of gothic.
Skipping the Renaissance because it’s fairly evenly balanced on almost all points. True, girls are more into the pretty dresses and boys are more into the cannons, but beyond that they’re all over the place.
The Enlightenment…
Philosophy and social movements – Girls
Science – Boys
The American Revolution – Girls
The American Civil War – Boys
The Founding Fathers – Girls… EXCEPT!
Ben Franklin – Boys (Cause Benny was a pimp and we respect that)
Teddy Roosevelt – Boys
The rest of those Victorian and Edwardian ponces – girls
Gangsters – Boys
The Jazz Age – Girls
Jazz Music – Either
And from there I sort of run out of things. I think because the 20th Century is been pretty easy to split. You know who is interested in cars and wars and who is interested in musicals and Audrey Hepburn.
Now that you know where your gender expectations are, it’s up to you to defy them. Boys! Now is the time to express your interest in the Regency Period with all the pretty dresses and racism that goes along with it. Girls, now would be a lovely time to express the joy that you have in looking at suits of armor in the museum and pointing out which of it was battle, which was display and which was tournament armor. After all the only reason to have gender roles is to smash them with hammers.
Sadly you can probably guess that I am completely on the boy side of this list, but then I would be. It’s a list of my impressions on which gender is interested in which parts of history. I’m hardly going to say that an interest in the machines and science behind the Industrial Revolution is girl stuff. If I, as a boy, am interested in it than it is ipso facto boy stuff. The effect the Industrial Revolution had on society can be girl stuff though.
Can't We Get a Man to Talk About This?
Someone suggested the Stuff You Missed in History Class podcast to me last week. Actually, they suggested it to a friend on facebook and I got a note and... this part isn't important. What is important is that I really hope this show gets better as they go on. The first few episodes were amazingly short, but as they went on the shows got longer. The problem starts with the fact that as they shows got longer, the lackadaisical attitude towards preparation becomes more and more obvious. One of the girls, um, talks, um, like… you know, um, this. I can hardly begin to express how frustrating it is to listen to someone um and you know, their way through what is supposed to be an informative program.
The second problem is, they’ve got some facts, but it seems like they have little understanding on many subjects. It’s pretty clear in places that they read a wikipedia article, and maybe glanced at one or two other sources, and then sort of stopped looking into the subject at hand. It’s that sort of thing where you can tell when they’re skating around the edge of their knowledge by getting some pretty basic things either wrong or at least not quite right in a way that makes it clear they’re guessing.
I was doing okay though, for the most part, but their Crusades podcast just left me ranting. I’m a pretty sensitive new age sort of guy. I cry at long distance phone commercials, I cuddle kitties, and the fact that I once owned something pink proves I’m in touch with my feminine side. I’m not a misogynist by any standard, in fact I think women should be given far more important jobs so that I don’t have to do them. HOWEVER! I spent the whole of the Crusade podcast just saying… “Can’t we get a man in here to discuss this?” Mostly because the Crusades are BOY HISTORY! There are no pretty dresses, no egalitarian discussions on the importance of democracy, no clever fellows for girls to have history crushes on, none of that shit. It’s blood and sand and stupidity and war. It’s all the things boys like.
As proof, listen carefully for the story of men having to cut open their horses and drink their blood to try and survive in the desert. One of the girls says, and I motherfucking quote “Oh, ick!” Which just proves that these two should not be discussing this subject. If you ever find yourself saying something so moronically prissy as “Oh, ick!” then you need to step away and let someone else take care of this section.
What really got me was the end though, where they decided that The Crusades are not historically significant. Now, I think what they mean is the trendy poly-sci theory that to the political situation between the West and the Middle East, the Crusades aren’t significant to the political situation. Whoever says that is wrong, and stupid by the way, since they still celebrate King Baibars to this day in the coffee houses of the Arab world. The problem is, they don’t talk about it in those terms. They say “Are they historically significant?” “Um… no.” which left me shouting… “Except that the Crusades more or less brought algebra to Europe, along with new advancements in architecture, weapons technology, armor, tactics, language, food, understanding of the spice trade, art, literature, history, clothing, smelting, political changes across the board, and got Europe on the road of knowledge that would kick start the Renaissance! Yeah, if you ignore all of that, maybe they aren’t significant. I mean, Thomas Jefferson never fought in one and there were no pretty dresses at the Battle of Acre.”
You can maybe see why I’m sort of annoyed. I wouldn’t mind women talking about the crusades, I mind these two under-aged little girly-girls umming and oh icking their way through an examination of their ignorance. It just strikes me how much we sometimes divide history into channels, either deliberately or just by nature. It hadn’t struck me before, but I’ve clearly always regarded the Crusades and the Roman Empire as Boy History while thinking of the Regency Period and the Revolutionary War era as Girl History.
Also, the goddamned crossbow* was developed about 200 years after the crusades were over, it wasn’t invented for that adventure!
*The gastraphetes and Chinese Automatic variant not withstanding.
Edit: Forgot to add... Astronomy, navigation, heating and cooling technologies, asskickers, shitkickers and METHODISTS!
Not historically significant. You must be fucking kidding me.
The second problem is, they’ve got some facts, but it seems like they have little understanding on many subjects. It’s pretty clear in places that they read a wikipedia article, and maybe glanced at one or two other sources, and then sort of stopped looking into the subject at hand. It’s that sort of thing where you can tell when they’re skating around the edge of their knowledge by getting some pretty basic things either wrong or at least not quite right in a way that makes it clear they’re guessing.
I was doing okay though, for the most part, but their Crusades podcast just left me ranting. I’m a pretty sensitive new age sort of guy. I cry at long distance phone commercials, I cuddle kitties, and the fact that I once owned something pink proves I’m in touch with my feminine side. I’m not a misogynist by any standard, in fact I think women should be given far more important jobs so that I don’t have to do them. HOWEVER! I spent the whole of the Crusade podcast just saying… “Can’t we get a man in here to discuss this?” Mostly because the Crusades are BOY HISTORY! There are no pretty dresses, no egalitarian discussions on the importance of democracy, no clever fellows for girls to have history crushes on, none of that shit. It’s blood and sand and stupidity and war. It’s all the things boys like.
As proof, listen carefully for the story of men having to cut open their horses and drink their blood to try and survive in the desert. One of the girls says, and I motherfucking quote “Oh, ick!” Which just proves that these two should not be discussing this subject. If you ever find yourself saying something so moronically prissy as “Oh, ick!” then you need to step away and let someone else take care of this section.
What really got me was the end though, where they decided that The Crusades are not historically significant. Now, I think what they mean is the trendy poly-sci theory that to the political situation between the West and the Middle East, the Crusades aren’t significant to the political situation. Whoever says that is wrong, and stupid by the way, since they still celebrate King Baibars to this day in the coffee houses of the Arab world. The problem is, they don’t talk about it in those terms. They say “Are they historically significant?” “Um… no.” which left me shouting… “Except that the Crusades more or less brought algebra to Europe, along with new advancements in architecture, weapons technology, armor, tactics, language, food, understanding of the spice trade, art, literature, history, clothing, smelting, political changes across the board, and got Europe on the road of knowledge that would kick start the Renaissance! Yeah, if you ignore all of that, maybe they aren’t significant. I mean, Thomas Jefferson never fought in one and there were no pretty dresses at the Battle of Acre.”
You can maybe see why I’m sort of annoyed. I wouldn’t mind women talking about the crusades, I mind these two under-aged little girly-girls umming and oh icking their way through an examination of their ignorance. It just strikes me how much we sometimes divide history into channels, either deliberately or just by nature. It hadn’t struck me before, but I’ve clearly always regarded the Crusades and the Roman Empire as Boy History while thinking of the Regency Period and the Revolutionary War era as Girl History.
Also, the goddamned crossbow* was developed about 200 years after the crusades were over, it wasn’t invented for that adventure!
*The gastraphetes and Chinese Automatic variant not withstanding.
Edit: Forgot to add... Astronomy, navigation, heating and cooling technologies, asskickers, shitkickers and METHODISTS!
Not historically significant. You must be fucking kidding me.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Winter is cold, that's why they call it winter!
I don't mind people complaining about the cold. Bitch up a storm, go ahead. You can say "It's too damn cold out." and I'll agree. In a perfect world, it owuld be may for about 5 months and then October form the next 7 before becoming May again. And today was cold. +7 when I left and +17 when I got home 9 hours later. Fucking cold! Too Cold. "Why hasn't Obama fixed thing so it'll stop being this cold" cold.
What I mind is people acting surprised "Can you believe how cold it is? Can you believe it's still this cold?" Yes, yes I can. "Why's it so damn cold out." It's February, which is traditionally much, much colder than June. Winter is cold, that's why they call it winter! Because of the cold association!
What I mind is people acting surprised "Can you believe how cold it is? Can you believe it's still this cold?" Yes, yes I can. "Why's it so damn cold out." It's February, which is traditionally much, much colder than June. Winter is cold, that's why they call it winter! Because of the cold association!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
NPR is turning into TMZ
Did you guys know that Christina Aguilera is the first person in the history of America to screw up the National Anthem? Yes, okay, she missed one word, but EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF EVER has gotten it right. I mean, really! Did Ben Franklin fight the Chinese at the Battle of Hastings for this bullshit?
This must be the case because in the last 2 days, every time I've got in the car, that's the only thing NPR is talking about. I am not joking about this, every single time, that’s all they are prepared to discuss. Maybe I’m getting in the car at special times, maybe they’ve only touched on it. I doubt it though, this is a very important topic. So, maybe they’ve been talking about it non-stop for the last 48 hours because no one has ever made even the tiniest of mistakes when singing that song.
Why haven't we deported her to Wales or wherever?
This must be the case because in the last 2 days, every time I've got in the car, that's the only thing NPR is talking about. I am not joking about this, every single time, that’s all they are prepared to discuss. Maybe I’m getting in the car at special times, maybe they’ve only touched on it. I doubt it though, this is a very important topic. So, maybe they’ve been talking about it non-stop for the last 48 hours because no one has ever made even the tiniest of mistakes when singing that song.
Why haven't we deported her to Wales or wherever?
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Etiquette: Killing Zombies
When killing a zombie, shooting for the head is not the only option. While destroying the brain is regularly seen as one’s best bet, removing the head entirely is also acceptable. What is often questioned about, and may be different for each society (always check local customs when traveling) is does one destroy one’s own friends and family upon those people being bitten and turning into zombies themselves.
In the West it is considered good form to kill one’s own. This is seen as taking care of one’s loved ones in a final act of mercy. It is acceptable however, to take the burden for a friend if they find themselves unable to kill their family. In Eastern countries, where ancestor worship is more prevalent, it is considered bad form for a person to put down their own family. If one is in an Eastern country, it is considered the highest honor to kill a friend’s family for them.
In the West it is considered good form to kill one’s own. This is seen as taking care of one’s loved ones in a final act of mercy. It is acceptable however, to take the burden for a friend if they find themselves unable to kill their family. In Eastern countries, where ancestor worship is more prevalent, it is considered bad form for a person to put down their own family. If one is in an Eastern country, it is considered the highest honor to kill a friend’s family for them.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
The Return of Jack Collier (Chapter Thirty)
The Return of Jack Collier
A Jack Collier Story
By Brett N. Lashuay
Last week’s entry can be found here.
Chapter Thirty: Cavalry and Cavalcades
I watched them coming towards us, wondering exactly how to get out of this one, and hearing the thump of a helicopter. I figured it was a police chopper and this being the sort of neighborhood this was, it would manage to pass us by without even looking in our direction. That would be my luck, to be completely missed, just when a little help from the local constabulary would be useful. It did keep getting louder though, and as I glanced around I saw a lot of headlights coming up the road toward the house.
“Fucking, goddamn motherfuckers,” I growled as they came close and wasted my last bullet firing in their direction.
It was more or less at that moment that all hell broke loose. The chopper came over the hill and shined a forty-two billion candle power spotlight down on us, and the sirens and flashers started on the cars and trucks that had picked just that moment to decide to punch through the front gate of the property. I could see more coming every moment too. I felt like the last private deep in Indian country hearing the cavalry trumpets sound. Not a very sensitive portrayal perhaps, but an apt one I think so I’m keeping it.
“Drop your weapons and put your hands on your heads,” A voice called out from a megaphone as another two helicopters suddenly emerged and lit the rest of the gathering up like it was daylight and the sun had moved significantly closer than it had previously sat. I’m not exaggerating, those were some damn bright spot lights.
I threw the Marley down and did as I was told. Someone in the crowd brilliantly decided to open fire on the chopper and the response was quite sudden. Shots rang out from four different guns, one on the ground and three in the air. The guy wasn’t thrown back in any direction because the force of one of the other shots compensated for the one that would have sent him flying. Instead he just folded up like an old accordion and collapsed.
I had no desire to become a few pounds of ground chuck, or indeed ground Jack, so I shoved Jill and Shiri back against the tree and compressed myself into as small a package as I could while still watching the proceedings. The collection that ran from the house made me think that this is what the Appalachian meeting must have looked like when it was raided. Dozens of rich and fat men came running from the building. More than had been in the room when I started the fracas, a lot more. I’m guessing that they were planning on bringing them in by groups to really run the train on the girls.
They were starting towards the wooded area behind us, and I wanted to stand up and fire the last bullet form the Webley, but I also didn’t want anyone in the choppers to think I was shooting at them. It just seemed a shame that they might be able to get away, but I needn’t have worried.
“Get on your knees!” a strong female voice commanded. “Hands on your head!”
“Alice?” I asked as I stood up.
“What?” she turned her head to look at me as agents rushed around her in blue nylon blazers with three letter agency names on them. “Jack? What the hell are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing cowgirl,” I said taking a few steps toward her.
“What happened to your face?”
“That’s a long story,” I said.
“Freeze!” an agent, who looked to be about four years younger than Alice shouted while pointing a hand cannon that was bigger than him.
“It’s okay Johnson,” she said. “He’s with us.”
“Ma’am?” he asked, lowering the portable canon.
“This is Mister Collier, he’s an inside man working from the outside.”
“Pardon?”
“Just… heel,” she said. “Go get those guys over there, they look like they want to think bad thoughts.”
“Yes ma’am!” he said and ran towards the group she had vaguely gestured towards.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked as a warm wind blew through and caused her hair to fly dramatically around her face.
“It’s a raid,” she said raising her hand to my face. “Look at your face. Are they okay?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “I got here just in time.”
“We should get them away and start getting statements,” she looked at Jill and Shiri. “Come on, we’ll get you some clothes.”
Shiri handed me my gun as she walked past and I slipped it in it’s holster before picking the Marley up off the ground and holstering it as well. I got a good look around the grounds as we walked around the house to get to the field where the chopper had landed, and I got to observe the three bottoms of the girls walking together. Alice’s ass was probably number three in the all time greatest butts ever. Shiri’s was best in the pert and little categories, and while Jill’s ass was both sweet and fine, it would still be a few years before it was ready for competition. It’s not sexist to say these things, it’s observation. Bring me any ten women and they’d agree with me on these points. I am a trained observer, and since I was tired and beat I could pretty much only concentrate on what was in front of me and what deserved the most attention.
An hour later and we were all in the Jack Webb Federal building giving statements and talking about protective custody. Fortunately clothes had been found for Shiri and Jill, so they didn’t have to keep looking like court dancers or whores or whatever those costumes were meant to convey. I was sitting in a room talking to an agent from some group or other when Alice came through the door. She looked tired, ragged even, but still beautiful.
I had a bottle of water, so she didn’t offer to get me a cup of coffee, which she wouldn’t anyway. She knows that I only drink coffee under extreme provocation, which is sort of nice. It’s nice to be sitting in an interrogation room with someone who knows you. Of course, my new BFF Johnson and I were going over the story for only the second time, which meant we were still just making sure I didn’t forget anything. He wouldn’t start to get antagonistic until the seventh or eighth time when he tried to catch me in something. Still Jill knew me better than Johnson, and better than he’d ever know me. I wasn’t sure how many people knew about us, so I hadn’t done anything more than admit that I knew her so far. Sometimes, when you live in a less than normal situation you have to be careful about these things.
“I’ll take over Johnson,” she said as she sat down. “Go get yourself a cup of coffee or something.”
“Yes Ma’am,” he said getting up and leaving the room.
“You’ve got him trained pretty well,” I admired as she sat down across from me.
“Yeah,” she agreed. “I do pretty well with the field guys.”
“Yes you do,” I agreed, since she’d found me in a field that night. “What about the office guys?”
“I do okay with them too,” she said as she sat down and turned off the recorder on the table. “It’s judges I could do without.”
“Judges?”
“They almost didn’t give us a warrant for the raid. We actually had some asshole of a judge saying what if we interrupted some innocent party?” she complained. “Like it was going to be some little sex party out in the hills. They hear Thinkonomics and their balls just retract into their stomachs. ”
“Well, clearly you won’t have trouble with that now though.” I said. “What with them deciding to try and run a train on both Jill and Shiri.”
“If we can make that stick,” she said. “They’ve got some pretty nasty lawyers.”
“They killed one man, tried to kill another, kidnapped two women, and were about to perform gang rape when I invaded their little love nest.” I said. “I don’t care how fucking good their lawyers are, they are fucked.”
“You’ve never gone up against The Church of Thinkonomics before,” she said. “We’ll have a good case on them, but frankly I’d rather be in the room watching one of them shooting at you or something. Half of them are trying to claim they were there for something else and had no idea what was going on in that room.”
“The video cameras know,” I said.
“Yes,” she said. “We got the tapes and things. Still though, you couldn’t get one of them to shoot at you could you? You’d take a bullet to watch my post-case closing dance wouldn’t you?”
“If it comes to that,” I told her, “I’ll see if I can’t arrange it.”
“So what are you doing here?” she asked.
“What are you doing here?”
“I asked you first.”
“I asked you second.”
“I’m cuter.”
Fuck.
“Piper hired me to come get his daughter,” I told her.
“I was sent to help remove a problem with the Thinkonomics crowd,” she said. “There’s more, but I’m not sure about telling you.”
“Why not?” I asked.
She leaned across the table and made a gesture for me to come closer. I leaned across the table and moved right into the cloud of her scent, which made me not pay attention to anything for a second. She smelled like a young virgin who had been picking flowers all morning and now smelled of clean fresh sweat, wild flowers and the interest to remove virgin from her classification.
“I’m not sure that’s the only recorder in this room,” she whispered, only just loud enough for me to hear. “Now give me a kiss so they think we’re just having a moment.”
I leaned a little further in and gave her a kiss. It was a short peck, a sweet little thing, but I could tell she was worried because she didn’t smile and get that dumb look she gets when I kiss her. It doesn’t last long, but there is this little look she gets. Between smug, pleased and scared, that’s where the look lives. Except this time she didn’t smile, and that worried me a little.
“So where do Jill and Shiri spend the night?” I asked, leaning back.
“Well, it looks like Shiri was a crime of opportunity,” she told me. “We’ll have the locals drive by her place, but I think she’s going to be fine. Jill was kidnapped by professional kidnappers though, they’re going to try again until we stop them. We’re going to take her to a safe house for a couple of days.”
“So I can take her home after you’ve decided she’s in no danger?”
“I guess,” she agreed. “I’ll have to ask a couple of people, but it’ll probably be okay.”
“Okay then,” I said. “Shall we type up a statement so I can sign it?”
“Let’s do that,” she announced too loudly. “We’ll be able to keep them longer that way.”
I have no idea what time it was when I went to bed, but it was still dark. I’d slept for a while, but not long enough, when the banging on the door started. I got up, finding myself still in my suit, complete with coat and tie. How I managed that I don’t know, normally I wake up finding myself being strangled if I forget to take my tie off. I smoothed my hair out, and on a momentary whim I grabbed the persuader from where I left it on the night stand when I left the day before and slipped it into my back pocket.
I opened the door and found Alice standing there with two guys in suits behind her. She looked tired, worried and a little scared, but I didn’t notice that when I opened the door. What I noticed is that she was wearing the same clothes she’d been wearing the night before too. That was odd, but not truly remarkable.
“Morning,” I said.
“Get your coat,” one of the men said.
“We’re going for a ride,” the other said.
“Oh?” I asked.
“Please Jack,” she looked up at me, and I think there were tears in her eyes. “Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.”
“Oh,” I said looking at the two and noticing that they weren’t the sort that get to be agents. “It’s like that is it?”
“Yeah,” one of them said. “Get your coat.”
“Don’t try nothing,” the other said, triggering my mental alarm that technically he had requested me to try something.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I said and focused my eyes on my possible betrayer. “Would I Alice?”
“No,” she shook her head like a child who had been chided and I noticed she was holding her left hand in her right, like she was cradling a wounded paw.
“So how did you guys get Alice to betray me?” I asked reaching down for my coat, with its special surprise in the left hand pocket. I wondered if I’d get to it, since she knew it was there, she’d tell them. “Promise of promotion? Level eight or some shit?”
“Just get your coat on,” the one who had spoken before said. “You’re going to have enough time to worry about who did what to you after we get you to where we’re going.”
“Fun,” I said.
“It won’t be,” the one said.
Friday, February 4, 2011
B&W Kitties
We should once aghain thank my benefactor for getting me this nifty pro acount for flickr. It is really nice being able to search through and get some older pics when I want them. Just hav ing the last 200 uploaded was a pain. THANKS!
Fill in the blanks
Hi.
Okay, here's the thing. If you wrote something today, and I didn't explicitly respond, I probably skipped it. That makes me feel like shit because I know some of you could use some support right now, but I’m kind of wiped out at the moment. So take this emergency template and fill it out for yourself.
ah-hem
Profanity!
Clever reference to a book you haven't read.
Contradictory opinion on some pop culture thing
Disdain for stupidity
More profanity.
Something that sounds deeply personal, but really isn’t.
Caring statement that lets you know I care about each and every one of you.
Okay, here's the thing. If you wrote something today, and I didn't explicitly respond, I probably skipped it. That makes me feel like shit because I know some of you could use some support right now, but I’m kind of wiped out at the moment. So take this emergency template and fill it out for yourself.
ah-hem
Profanity!
Clever reference to a book you haven't read.
Contradictory opinion on some pop culture thing
Disdain for stupidity
More profanity.
Something that sounds deeply personal, but really isn’t.
Caring statement that lets you know I care about each and every one of you.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Maxim Encourages Unicorn Hunting
Reading Maxim is not part of my day-to-day activities. I did, once, have a subscription, but I never renewed it because the magazine was pretty dumb to be honest. One or two smart articles, a slew of frat boy bullshit, and some photos of girls more photo shopped and airbrushed than anything Playboy ever published.
However, there was a cover article about managing threesomes so I picked it up and read the one page bit of non-sense. It was… okay I suppose. Sort of stupid, sort of basic, and sort of silly because in my experience men pretend to be interested in group sex while women actually are interested*.
Never the less, one of the last things in this article, which was so skimpy the one of the magazine’s models could have used it to keep the magazine from being kept under the counter, was interesting. It suggested going to OkCupid (yes, it mentioned it by name) and looking for Bisexual girls in their area. This, so the writer surmised, would be an excellent way to get chicks ready for your group grope experiment.
Now, there are… well, a few bisexual women reading my writing, so let’s have an informal poll. Is this not the most awesome idea you’ve ever heard of? Y/Y
Can see no problem in encouraging horny guys who haven’t really figured out how to actually bring one woman to climax to go to OKC and start asking around for another girl they won’t be able to please for their little Anniversary Present or whatever pretense is being used. Isn’t that exactly what you, as a bisexual woman, want from a place like OKC? Okay, sarcasm machine off.
Maybe I’ve spent too long trying to treat women as human beings and am no longer in line with current fashion. I’ve always approached these things from the standpoint of building relationships and treating people like equals. Am I in the wrong? Would just asking you to come over for a three-way screw work? Because I don’t think it would. Okay, I can think of some people that it would work with, but those are sluts and sluts have their own… special… themness.
*Not that all women are, but out of the people I’ve talked to, the women are far more likely to ask serious questions and to go through with the group experience than men are. Men get cold feet, admit they don’t think it’ll be as good as they think, or that they really just don’t want to try it. Women tend to be genuinely interested while men act interested, but come up with lots of excuses.
However, there was a cover article about managing threesomes so I picked it up and read the one page bit of non-sense. It was… okay I suppose. Sort of stupid, sort of basic, and sort of silly because in my experience men pretend to be interested in group sex while women actually are interested*.
Never the less, one of the last things in this article, which was so skimpy the one of the magazine’s models could have used it to keep the magazine from being kept under the counter, was interesting. It suggested going to OkCupid (yes, it mentioned it by name) and looking for Bisexual girls in their area. This, so the writer surmised, would be an excellent way to get chicks ready for your group grope experiment.
Now, there are… well, a few bisexual women reading my writing, so let’s have an informal poll. Is this not the most awesome idea you’ve ever heard of? Y/Y
Can see no problem in encouraging horny guys who haven’t really figured out how to actually bring one woman to climax to go to OKC and start asking around for another girl they won’t be able to please for their little Anniversary Present or whatever pretense is being used. Isn’t that exactly what you, as a bisexual woman, want from a place like OKC? Okay, sarcasm machine off.
Maybe I’ve spent too long trying to treat women as human beings and am no longer in line with current fashion. I’ve always approached these things from the standpoint of building relationships and treating people like equals. Am I in the wrong? Would just asking you to come over for a three-way screw work? Because I don’t think it would. Okay, I can think of some people that it would work with, but those are sluts and sluts have their own… special… themness.
*Not that all women are, but out of the people I’ve talked to, the women are far more likely to ask serious questions and to go through with the group experience than men are. Men get cold feet, admit they don’t think it’ll be as good as they think, or that they really just don’t want to try it. Women tend to be genuinely interested while men act interested, but come up with lots of excuses.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Return of Jack Collier (Chapter Twenty-Nine)
The Return of Jack Collier
A Jack Collier Story
By Brett N. Lashuay
Last week’s entry can be found here.
By: Jill Piper
(Jack’s Note: Okay, Jill is very sweet and darling and all, but she gets some important facts wrong here. When I see the worst errors I’ll make a note of them.)
“One!” their voices chimed together and they all cheered. I could feel the head of the penis of the one who had crawled on top of me starting to push its way in.
Then there was the sound of shattering glass, something heavy thumped and someone screamed. The smelly, fat man jumped off me and ran towards everyone else as the true chaos started. I didn’t even see what was going on at first, I just heard the shooting and the shouts of my would-be attackers. It wasn’t until they had been shouting for a while that I saw him leap through the broken remains of the large picture window that I realized we hadn’t been forgotten after all.
Jack looked like a knight, or a cavalier, or a samurai as he burst into the room, a pair of matched silver plated pearl handled revolvers in his hands. (Jack’s note: I own a Webley-Fosbery Automatic revolver, which is black, and a Marley Thirty-Eight, which is chrome and has ivory handles. I don’t know where she got that from.) He fired over their heads a few times, hit one of them in the mouth and rushed to my side. He pulled out a switchblade, popped the knife open and slashed at the bonds holding me down. (Jack’s Note: Okay, first? I’ve never owned a switchblade in my life. They’re silly and stupid and you don’t need a spring in your knife. I use a Laguiole and always have. Second, I cut Shiri’s bonds first because I figured if I cut her free and gave her the Webley she wouldn’t freak out and embarrass us both or cause any more problems than the outfit she had on was already causing. Other than that, everything she’s said so far has been more or less accurate.)
He grabbed me by the wrist and the three of us leapt from the room. As we ran down the hall, dozens of guards were on our heels behind us. Jack spun around and started gunning them down as we made our way down the hallway. (Jack’s Note: Two is not dozens, I fired one shot over their heads. This is not some John Woo movie, and besides I only had those two rounds left in the Marley as it was. Even if I wanted to plug them, we were a good twelve feet away and as we all know I can just barely manage to hit the broad side of a barn with the Marley if I’m standing right up against it.)
We ran down the long wide hall, hearing their voices behind us. I saw an open door in front of us and pointed toward it. Jack pushed the door open and threw us both into the room. He slammed the door behind him and leaned up against it. Someone hit the door, causing the whole thing to jump in the frame. Jack leaned harder into the door as the other girl and I grabbed a large heavy trunk and shoved it up against the door. Jack turned and looked at a large table in the center of the room and shoved it hard up against the door as well.
There were more bangs against the door, but it did little more than shudder. Jack opened his gun and let the empty bullets fall from his gun. He looked at the girl as she unloaded her gun too. He gave her some bullets and they both reloaded their guns with them as whoever was on the other side banged against the door. Jack looked around the room quickly and leaned against the table as the door shuddered against it again.
“Fuck,” he said after looking at the floor for a moment.
“What are we going to do now?” The other girl asked. (Jack’s Note: Actually, I said this. I was pretty much knee deep in dejection and defeatism at this point. I know I’m not as smart as some people think I am, and this was one of those situations that proved it. We couldn’t sit in this room forever, and it was looking like I’d gotten us trapped.)
“How about that window?” he asked as he walked towards a window and pulled the screen out.
(Jack’s Note: Shiri said and did this. I just sat there and watched her, partly because of dejection and partly because of the clothes. Those thin, gauzy outfits weren’t clothes exactly, they were just something to say they weren’t naked when they very much were. It made them both look vulnerable, beautiful and small, which for a big strong tough guy like me is fairly attractive. Bad point about men, we really do all want to protect weak and attractive women. That’s not following feminist philosophy very well, but I figure it’s natural and I don’t demean women or condescend them more than I do men, so I’m probably okay on balance. Looking at her walking away, I was momentarily mesmerized by the fact that she had the finest pert little ass I have ever witnessed in all my years. Not the best ass of all time mind you, that belongs to someone else, but the best in the pert and little categories. As a result, I was watching her backside as she walked and then watching the lines of her back as she reached up and pulled the screen out. Also, where does it say that the guy has to save the day all the time? Why can’t a woman do it? Put the woman out in front, that’s what I say. Not only do you get to hear some great ideas, but with her standing in front of you she can’t see that you’re mostly looking at her incredibly perfect pert ass while she leads. It’s like a perfect situation as far as I’m concerned.)
They both looked out the window and then back at the door. The door was starting to open, Jack fired three times through the center of the door and screamed for them to stay back or he’d kill them all. We saw blood soak under the door, and heard a scream as someone fell. (Jack’s Note: I fired at the top of the door. I deliberately missed them. There was no blood, and even if there was, there was a trunk to hold back the blood. I didn’t kill anyone that night. Okay? Can we get that settled? There was a shout, but no scream.)
“On the ground floor and everything,” Jack said as he crawled through the window. “Look out, bushes underneath.”
He held out his arms and pulled the other girl out through the window before coming back and waving at me. I grabbed on to him and was lifted over a group of shrubs with sharp looking thorns. We ran a few yards around the side of the house, but as we came to the gravel driveway, Jack stopped cold and held his arm out.
“What?” I asked him.
“They’ve found the car,” he said and then sighed. “And they’ve seen us.”
The men had started towards us, flashlights shining in our faces. A few shouts went out and then more lights started showing up from more places. Jack and the girl shot a few times into the dark and we started to run towards some hills where a few trees were standing together. Jack knelt down and looked at his gun as the lights started toward us again.
“Son of bitch,” he said as we knelt down by the trees.
“What?” I asked again.
“I’ve got one shot left? How about you Shera?” (Jack’s Note: Okay, Jill can’t remember Shiri’s name, but I could. I called her Shiri.)
“One,” she said.
“Well fuck,” he muttered.
“I won’t be taken back,” she said. “I’ve got one left.”
“Don’t start crazy talk just yet,” he said, watching as they approached.
“Don’t let them take me Jack,” I pleaded.
“Don’t worry my darling,” he said pressing the barrel against the back of my head. “I won’t let them take you. I won’t let them hurt you.”
I heard him work the gun as we saw them approaching, and I knew he would never let them hurt me again. (Jack’s Note: Oh for fuck’s sake! I would never put my gun against the back of someone’s head. Even if I were going to shoot someone like that, which I deny I did, I wouldn’t let her feel the barrel or hear me thumb the hammer back. I’m a lot cooler than that, yeah? Besides, it didn’t occur to me that Shiri’s comment about having one left and not being taken was anything but talk. It did seem a little desperate there, what with them closing in on us, but I was pretty sure I could bluff my way out of it… somehow. I wasn’t sure how exactly, what with there only being two rounds left to us, but I was thinking I’d figure something out in the next forty-five seconds. After all, I was Mister Seven With One Blow, right? Right?)
Old Snow Photos
Because the Snowtorious B.I.G. isn't really impressive yet, I'll post some older snow photos...
So, on the dickwolves thing
I would just like to say congrats to the Penny Arcade guys!
With this whole Dickwolves thing they've managed to put the "Gamers aren't all complete assholes" argument back 5, maybe 10 years! I do hope they remember this when the next politician with a "Video Games make you a socially retarded monster and gamers should all be gassed." Platform comes around.
Really, it's not the shirt itself, it's the passive-aggressive bullshit non-apologies and the doubling down that's made me shake my head at them. That’s really the thing that’s going to make dismissing gamers easy. People expect a lot of being offensive for the sake of trying to cause offense from children, and mostly they just ignore it because it’s dull and giving them attention only leads to more bullshit.
Not that it maters, not really. Tycho and Gabe have nothing of value to say to anyone over 15 anyway, and this is just another example. They’re just becoming another pair of radio shock DJs, loved by their small group of fans, but worth nothing in the grander scheme of reality. Adults don't care, they dismiss anything any gamer has to say, and this gives them another example in their long held prejudice. And guess what? No amount of Child's Play money will wash away the fact that you've just given serious minded people another excuse to disregard anything any gamer might have to say.
This whole thing is just getting old. I'm getting tired of waiting for internet famous 'celebs' to grow up and stop acting like they're still in a frat house. I know it won't happen, but it's boring the fuck out of me listening to the fall out of these assholes every few months. The comic and shirt didn't even offend me, you couldn't offend me if you tried. Actually, that's probably true because I'd know you were trying to do it and thus I wouldn't care. At this point, all of them are just little children running around yelling "Fuck!" in hopes that mommy will notice them for just one moment. This shock for shock's sake crap gets dull really quick once you reach adulthood.
So… yeah, good job guys. Now for the next five years or so, anytime I try to say playing games doesn’t automatically make you a complete shithead, I’ve got to hear about the Dickwolves thing. Thanks for that.
With this whole Dickwolves thing they've managed to put the "Gamers aren't all complete assholes" argument back 5, maybe 10 years! I do hope they remember this when the next politician with a "Video Games make you a socially retarded monster and gamers should all be gassed." Platform comes around.
Really, it's not the shirt itself, it's the passive-aggressive bullshit non-apologies and the doubling down that's made me shake my head at them. That’s really the thing that’s going to make dismissing gamers easy. People expect a lot of being offensive for the sake of trying to cause offense from children, and mostly they just ignore it because it’s dull and giving them attention only leads to more bullshit.
Not that it maters, not really. Tycho and Gabe have nothing of value to say to anyone over 15 anyway, and this is just another example. They’re just becoming another pair of radio shock DJs, loved by their small group of fans, but worth nothing in the grander scheme of reality. Adults don't care, they dismiss anything any gamer has to say, and this gives them another example in their long held prejudice. And guess what? No amount of Child's Play money will wash away the fact that you've just given serious minded people another excuse to disregard anything any gamer might have to say.
This whole thing is just getting old. I'm getting tired of waiting for internet famous 'celebs' to grow up and stop acting like they're still in a frat house. I know it won't happen, but it's boring the fuck out of me listening to the fall out of these assholes every few months. The comic and shirt didn't even offend me, you couldn't offend me if you tried. Actually, that's probably true because I'd know you were trying to do it and thus I wouldn't care. At this point, all of them are just little children running around yelling "Fuck!" in hopes that mommy will notice them for just one moment. This shock for shock's sake crap gets dull really quick once you reach adulthood.
So… yeah, good job guys. Now for the next five years or so, anytime I try to say playing games doesn’t automatically make you a complete shithead, I’ve got to hear about the Dickwolves thing. Thanks for that.
Still waiting for Snowtorious B.I.G. to happen.
About half the time, these mega storms come to nothing. The other half of the time, we get the snow. Great Lakes Yo!
And now, to prevent this from just being me talking about the weather (I mean seriously! Did none of you get laid recently? Have a car wreck? Kill a baby with your bare hands?) here is a photo of a stone on a beach...
And now, to prevent this from just being me talking about the weather (I mean seriously! Did none of you get laid recently? Have a car wreck? Kill a baby with your bare hands?) here is a photo of a stone on a beach...
Clue is still a good movie
I was wondering if the movie Clue would hold up after all these years.
It doesn't just hold up.
If anything, the fact that I've read more mystery novels and watched more mystery movies and TV shows gives me a much greater appreciation for the movie.
Syd has a different interpretation of the last line though. When Mr Green says "I'm going to go home and sleep with my wife." instead of seeing that as an indication that Green's homosexuality was part of his cover story, she saw it that Green gets away with it. The way she saw it, there is no wife waiting at home and Green's cover (That he's straight) is kept in tact by his killing Mr Boddy. No one knows Green's secret, so as she put it "The queer wins!"
Thoughts?
Oh and if that spoiled Clue for you, go watch it on youtube or something. seriously, what the fuck have you been doing with your life if you haven't seen that movie yet?
It doesn't just hold up.
If anything, the fact that I've read more mystery novels and watched more mystery movies and TV shows gives me a much greater appreciation for the movie.
Syd has a different interpretation of the last line though. When Mr Green says "I'm going to go home and sleep with my wife." instead of seeing that as an indication that Green's homosexuality was part of his cover story, she saw it that Green gets away with it. The way she saw it, there is no wife waiting at home and Green's cover (That he's straight) is kept in tact by his killing Mr Boddy. No one knows Green's secret, so as she put it "The queer wins!"
Thoughts?
Oh and if that spoiled Clue for you, go watch it on youtube or something. seriously, what the fuck have you been doing with your life if you haven't seen that movie yet?
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