Sometimes I am very not nice about polyamory.

I've decided I don't like the term "metamour" which is your poly lover's other lover.

It's too cute, too hipster, too "this is totally a legit lifestyle and to prove it we'll throw out terms to freak the squares" hypocrisy.

I’ve been Poly for well over a decade, and I’d never heard it before last week. I suspect that's the point. You've got to find a way to show that not only are you in a weird, freaky relationship style, but you're in so deep you've named every cog and spring individually.

“Oh, metamour? It’s a really obscure term, you’ve probably never heard of it.”

Well sweetie, I knew polyamory when it was still a shitty garage band with only three members and went under the names “Free Love” and “Open Relationship” before forming the party you just Johnny-Came-Lately to, so kindly stop making the rest of us look bad. I'm trying to show these people we're not all freaks and assholes.

There is a time and place for all opinions, and mine is that this word needs to be drowned in the toilet after being told that it forgot to flush.