Dear Def Leppard,
Point One: Learn to spell.
Point Two: You don't just happen to be a man. You've been male since the spermatozoa stage of your life.
Point Three: She doesn't just happen to be a woman.
Point Four: I really doubt that you just happen to be together. I think you planned this. Stop making it sound like this is some sort of happy accident.
Point Five: Only Prince can do wimpy love ballads and still be taken seriously when he rocks the fuck out.
Point Six: You are not Prince.
Point Seven: These things bear repeating.
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