Freak Identification Chart

Syd and I were having a talk at dinner about how people tend to think she’s just a normal mundane and when she meets Con people or other such freaks she always feels like they think she’s not one of them. Her little ordinary brown mouse routine tends to belie her full and paid up membership in the Freaky People Society. As a result, freaky people tend to try her boundaries to see what will freak the mundane, only you’ve got to go quite far to freak her out. I suggested it would be a great deal easier if there were a color-coded set of badges or grade that a person could announce if the conversation came that way. Sort of like the Homeland Insecurity Department’s “Panic Now” color chart. I changed the colors around a little because I actually know how a color spectrum works.

See if you approve.



It should be more of a spectrum with colors mixing into each other, because while I’m not a pure red, I’ve been more red than orange. However, I’ve got better things to do today than make this a pure spectrum with colors melding into each other and placing a little tab to signify where I sit.

You see? If we had a system like this, a person could just say “I’m yellow, don’t worry about it.” when someone glances at them as if to ask how freaky they are. When someone starts showing off and trying to see if they can freak the person they’ve just met out, that person can just say “Look sweetie, I’m a red, I just don’t throw it in people’s faces, okay? You’re barely out of being a green, chill out.” Or just buttons with color grades on them. An orange button that reads “I’m an Orange” should do the trick. If you know the code, you’ll know what that means.

Now, I’ve put this on a kinky basis, but it could work in any medium. I’m sort of yellowy-green when it comes to Sci-Fi & Fantasy. You could adapt it to many things and then people wouldn’t be confused as to how mundane or not you are.