Let's talk about the music for a moment.

When I was younger, I hated all holiday music. Bing Crosby and the Morphine Drip Orchestra convinced me that I hated all that stuff. Then I found out about Mannheim Steamroller in High School and did a complete 180 on the idea. I found some jazz, some rock, and started to enjoy it.

I still hate the local stations though. One of our locals WNIC plays what they call “Christmas Music” during the months of November and December. But they don’t, not really. They play the Top 40 hits of “Christmas Music” over and over and OVER again. Not good songs either, the worst garbage that you can imagine. Constant repetition of Bing, Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, that fucking Paul McCartney song and that Wham song. I’ve worked it out. 40 songs of the 2 and a half to 5-minute variety comes to about 2 hours and 15 minutes. Throw in 45 minutes for commercials and you have a 3-hour block. That means that any given song will be played about 480 times during that two month period. I haven’t checked if they only have 40 songs, but I do know that I heard several of the same songs twice in a 3 hour period.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Seriously! I have over 1300 songs in my holiday collection. Damn near 80 hours of music. Okay, some wouldn’t be cool for broadcast, and some wouldn’t work for an Adult Contemporary format, but I would still have 3 solid days of material even if I made deletions to the list. Why do they play that fucking Paul McCartney song over and over and over and OVER? Why play any of those songs that much? Why no variety? I’ve got three days worth of material, without commercials. Put in enough time for the radio station to sell ad space and you’ve got 8 full days there. Just a little cynical thank you.

I wouldn’t mind the Bing Crosby if it was broken up a little. If it wasn’t the same crap over and over again. There are literally hundreds of songs and tens of thousands (if not hundreds of thousands) of versions. Why the same 40 songs repeated until you just want to take a hammer to whatever motherfucker is dumb enough to hum Sleighride around you.

By the way, unrelated matter, I need a new hammer. The handle on this one is broken and it’s covered in blood and what passes for brains among the sort of person who thinks Sleighride is a good song and worth humming.