Turkeys are pointless

This post is written by Fancy, the Ruler of the Universe.

Why do people get so wound up about the turkey being killed for us to eat it? You never hear anyone go on about the cow that was last night's steak or the chicken in tomorrow's soup, but good lord ‘n butter(!) they are so sad that a turkey died. This, despite the fact that a turkey is, without a doubt, the stupidest and most pointless bird I have ever had to deal with. These are not smart, nor noble, or particularly handsome creatures.

The turkeys you eat can't even mate on their own, they need help for that. The breast is so large on a modern turkey, that the male literally can't mount the female. So because you like white meat, we have to train people to jerk off a turkey and stick a… well, a turkey baster up another turkey, just to get more turkeys. Does that sound like an animal that could survive on its own, or does it sound like something that needs killin’?

Also, different subject, where the hell is the boy? He's been gone for hours and these dead ninjas are starting to smell.

There is no need to panic. I am fine. Everything is normal.

Hello everyone, everything is fine and normal! I am Grey Weirdo! Of course I am! Look, I will say some wacky non-sequitur now.

BAKED GOODS!

That's the sort of wacky thing I say, right? Of course it is, so you can stop worrying now.

As further proof, here is a video about movies. I talk about movies all the time.

Fancy is posting in the blogs now

This post is written by Fancy, the Ruler of the Universe

What the hell?

Okay, where is the boy? He's supposed to be brushing me for the next seven hours whether he wants to or not.

And what are all these dead ninja doing here? And while I'm asking questions, why the hell is this song playing? Why does he even have Ninja Rap?

Do not be alarmed! All Is Normal!

So I'm working on a couple of things and...

Hang on a second... can anyone else hear ninjas, commandos, nets and a kidnap van? And is that a blow gun armed with drugged darts? *HURK!*


...


Dear Internet. Remain Calm. Nothing is wrong. GreyWeirdo hasn't been kidnapped by ninjas or anything. Would we post it if he was? Please carry on with your work. All is well. Nothing to worry about. He's defiantly not being held in a prison, or being subjected to horrific tortures. Pay no attention to anyone who says anything to the contrary. All it well.

Christmas Night Of Zombies

This is a real song. It exists. Sometimes it's called Christmas Night Of Zombies... but it's not a joke. Someone even cut a video with scenes from Zombieland.



I blame hipsters, because I can.

TSA remains stupid

The TSA remains fucking stupid. They tried to demonstrate their new pat downs, and made an entire room full of people throw up in their mouths a little.

People were averting their eyes. The TSA was trying to demonstrate ‘this is not so bad,’ but it made people so uncomfortable to watch, that people were averting their eyes.




And let's not forget the man left covered in his own piss because these people have no training and have no idea how to deal with that sort of situation.

Put that in this mega list of links about the TSA lately and a picture emerges. The picture I'm getting is untrained grunts being told to do fucking stupid things, that they really don't want to do, by people who have no idea what the fuck they’re doing. Not only that, but we're told that these are necessary by people who never have to go through these procedures. Can't help but notice Obama is once again telling us to shut up and take it while he never has to stand in line and wonder if the person about to grab his junk is one of the sex offenders the TSA had no problem hiring a few years ago.

Personally,. I can't believe Amtrak isn't running a "We never molest you" campaign right now.

(cue Vader) NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Christmas Eve on Sesame Street isn't on netflix? What the hell!

I mean, I don't exactly need it on Netflix, I have the dvd. You can get the DVD on Amazon and I suggest you do. It's the only way to ensure a Elmo free Holiday while still watching Grover.