I'll come up with something in a minute.: The Weirdo

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Sunday, April 12, 2015

MOTHER OF CHEESE!

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Twenty-Five: Epilogue

Brothers & Sisters
A Tale of The Weirdo
By Brett N. Lashuay

Chapter Twenty-Five

Epilogue

April 14^th, 2003

1:31 p.m.

It looked like an island in the sky, like some perfect version of Laputa. The dark rock, which made the bottom, was smooth to the touch and looked like the sort of stones one used to get in Warner Brothers cartoons. This was a rock that Wiley Coyote would look desolately into as it came ever closer to obliterating his afternoon.

Above the yellowish stone was still the field, and the brook of cool clean water coming from no source and flowing towards no pond. It simply started at one end and ran through to the other end. The grass here was actually green a lush emerald, and it as tall and verdant. There were small white butterflies, which fluttered lazily through the soft air, going about their affairs. One might almost think that this was merely a patch of one reality that had been temporarily displaced into our reality. One might think anything though, so perhaps a more definite statement should come.

The Weirdo and Lucifer walked through it, standing near a tree where the grass grew a little shorter. They looked at a hill, which The Weirdo had made when this place had been built. It had grown up around him, as an idea of perfection.

“You know how wrong it would be to build anything here?” Lucifer asked.

“No.” The Weirdo said. “You have to make something.”

“Do I?”

“Yes.” The Weirdo said. “Those fields always seemed to me to be too open to the elements.”

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Twenty-Four: The Forces of Evil are Victorious (Do not forsake me oh my darling)

Brothers & Sisters
A Tale of The Weirdo
By Brett N. Lashuay

Chapter Twenty-Four

The Forces of Evil are Victorious

(Do not forsake me oh my darling)

April 14th, 2003

11:45 a.m.

They writhed on the floor, shaking as Lilith walked towards a second stairway. This stone walk way led up to the roof, where the ritual began. They were unmoving for some time, though few have a capacity to tell how long. The pain was unendurable, yet it never seemed to break them. It seemed to hold them at the very edge of their endurance, to keep them in pain for as long as possible.

On another floor, Aphrodite was trying to crawl away as another shock of pain wracked her body. Eoster had somehow managed to get out of the scope of influence and watched as Aphrodite and the gray man shuddered and writhed on the floor. Her hand went to her mouth to hold back a scream as they lay trying to scream. That was the worst part, after a few early cries, they simply made croaking noises.

She couldn’t endure watching any longer and something from her belly made her move. Later she wondered if it was the child inside her that made her move, and had protected her. Tears were pouring down her face she hadn’t noticed that she was sobbing until this moment. She turned and began to run down the hall, trying to figure out what to do, and bumped into an answer.

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Twenty-Three: Lilith’s Check Mate

Brothers & Sisters
A Tale of The Weirdo
By Brett N. Lashuay

Chapter Twenty-Three

Lilith’s Check Mate

April 14th, 2003

7:54 a.m.

Max was lost in a dream, looking for something that had become lost. He couldn’t remember what it was, or even what it looked like, but he kept looking anyway. He was looking around the whole house and finally came to the front door. He touched the handle and was surprised to find it warm; the knob was usually so cold. He opened the door and found that now the door opened into a wild-west town. It wasn’t a real wild-west town; it actually looked like the Spanish plains.

He felt something in his hands and fell to his knees to examine them. They were twins, perfectly weighted for his hands. They were a pair of Samuel Colt’s patented peacemakers, forty-five caliber double action revolvers. He knew them, he knew these pistols because they were his pistols. They were made of silver, but had tarnished badly over the last hundred years since the death of the last one who owned them.

“Someone who just got the job might want to clean those up.” He heard the gray man say. “Would impress the new bosses.”

“Someone who wanted to impress the new bosses wouldn’t have been given the job.” Max found himself saying.

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Twenty-Two: The Plan

Brothers & Sisters
A Tale of The Weirdo
By Brett N. Lashuay

Chapter Twenty-Two

The Plan

April 11^th, 2003

4:01 p.m.

Charon had been the ferryman for a very long time, since the creation of the post actually. The obols had been his idea, so that he could by himself a few things now and then. He had never been greedy about it, and had often let nice people who didn’t have a coin on the boat from time to time. He had been so successful and the world had become so populated he’d been able to expand, and was now the leader of a fleet of ten. He hadn’t ever really given credence to the rumors of an end. They’d been talking about an end to everything, well since the beginning really. Now though, it was looking like it could all end. Everything could be taken away, in just a moment, just like that. He looked at the two men who he was now ferrying across the river to what he’d always referred to as the live side. He listened to what they were saying and it worried him.

“How many?” The one in gray asked.

“Maybe one hundred thousand.” The one all in blue answered. “Maybe five, I’m not sure. It’s like cattle, every time we’d pass a group, a few would stick. Some times we’d pass by and there’s be no one left when we were gone. They’ve been waiting for someone to lead them out of there, some of them have been waiting a long time.”

“Now tell me the other part.” The gray coated one said.

“Other part?”

“The part that’s worrying you Tommy.”

Charon lifted his staff from the water, bits of the Styx dribbling over his weather beaten hands. They had done this for ages, the water dribbling over the rod and across his hands. That was how his immortal hands had become so weather-beaten. He looked at the dark water as he pushed the long rod back down into it. People thought he operated on a river within Tartus, at least some people did. Either that or they thought Styx was inside Tartus. He’d always been amazed at how stupid mortals were, they would argue that their not supposed to be here, that he wasn’t supposed to be here, that none of this was real. These two didn’t even seem to care, they seemed to just accept all of it, or ignore it.

“They’re not soldiers Weirdo.”

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Twenty-One: Heroes

Brothers & Sisters
A Tale of The Weirdo
By Brett N. Lashuay

Chapter Twenty-One

Heroes

April 11^th, 2003

11:30 p.m.

The Other sat on the shore and looked at the white ocean before her. It was a foul smelling ocean, and it was an opaque white at that. The soft shore she sat on appeared to be made of some sort of soft wax. It smelled familiar though, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She touched the warm soft ground, which was a solid thing even if very soft.

She wasn’t quite sure how she had gotten there, and she didn’t know where there was actually. She looked at the sky and around her at the waxy shore. She looked down at her bleeding hand and everything just came down on her at once. Had they thought they could win? She was lost and no one would ever find her.

The world was going to end, and there was nothing anyone could ever do about it. If Lilith could invade the house, what else could she do? She might be able to break all the rules and stop The Weirdo dead in his tracks. She had believed in The Weirdo but he was going into the places where no one had ever returned. It would not be inconceivable that he would never return. She was lost, and there was no one left to come get her, they would all be killed and then the world would end.

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Twenty: The Best Laid Plans

Note: The point isn't really for you guys to read a chapter everyday. That would be crazy, these chapters are about 30 pages long. This is just an info-dump situation, collect them all and read at your leisure.

This is basically an un-edited version of this book. There will be typos. There will be your/you're errors, because I'm dyslexic as hell. Why am I posting it? I've more or less come to the conclusion that some major things needed to change, so I'm changing them. However, I like the old version and I already gave you Twins In Death in the old form, so have this one too. It doesn't matter, the books are being re-written, so enjoy.

Brothers & Sisters
A Tale of The Weirdo
By Brett N. Lashuay

Chapter Twenty

The Best Laid Plans

April 15^th,2003

9:41 a.m.

“You brought a news paper.” The Weirdo said.

“Yeah.” Tommy said, nodding.

“I guess I shouldn’t even ask why you might think of such a thing.”

“I thought you might have to take some time doing some of the things in your plan.” Tommy said. “Like getting past the door.”

“And you were going to read a week old newspaper in the intervening time?”

“Yeah.”

“You would.”

“Yes.” Tommy agreed. “Yes I would.”

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Nineteen: A Storm on Olympus

Chapter Nineteen

A Storm on Olympus

April 14^th, 2003

5:21 p.m.

The Weirdo walked into a small reading room, looking for his laptop and saw The Other sitting with a teenaged girl. She might have been twelve, possibly thirteen. He looked at the two and The Other looked up and smiled brightly at him. The dark haired girl looked familiar but he couldn’t place her.

“Hi Weirdo.” The Other said.

“Hello Weirdo.” The Girl said.

“Hi.” He said back. “Have we met?”

“I’m The Other.” The Other said, never looking up from the book the two shared. “We have been introduced.”

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Eighteen: It’s a Birth

Chapter Eighteen

It’s a Birth

April 14^th, 2003

1:37 p.m.

The Weirdo was barbequing hamburgers and hot dogs when the Assitanians returned. He had made the hamburger himself, by grinding his own sirloin. The hotdogs had come from a pack and he explained that this should warn people off them enough. There were also hot dogs and a chicken as well; The Weirdo was determined to have a good old-fashioned barbeque. He and Tommy shared most the cooking, being the American Dad types. Lucifer had offered to try his hand at a steak or two and cooked them in a way most of them were unfamiliar with. He blew on the coals until they were hot and free of ash, and then set the steaks directly on the coals. He turned them after a few minuets and though it took some doing, Kestrel final volunteered and declared it the best way to cook a steak ever.

Cydrill arrived with Azgana in tow, she was very noble and kind. She was out of her depth, that much was clear, but she made the most of it. She shook hands and called The Weirdo her nephew, which was nice. She had time to say hello to everyone, but The Other shied away at first.

“What’s wrong?” Kestrel asked as The Other hid behind her legs.

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Seventeen: The Fever

Chapter Seventeen

The Fever

April 12^th, 2003

2:21 p.m.

“Can it be done?” Lilith asked.

“Yes.” Chandelroth said, looking at the large book before him.

“This isn’t really the sort of thing we should be doing Lilith.” Peach said.

“Peach.” Lilith said calmly. “This is exactly the sort of thing we should be doing.”

“I can perform the right in two days time.” Chandelroth said. “Ten minuets before midnight on the fourteenth.”

“What do you need?” Lilith asked.

“We already have everything.” Chandelroth said. “All we need to do is wait.”

“Wonderful.”

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Sixteen: The Coin Drop Duel

Chapter Sixteen

The Coin Drop Duel

April 11^th, 2003

7:01 a.m.

“So pretty.” The Other said running her hands across the Leviathan’s scales.

It had turned out that the massive serpent wasn’t so much a snake as it was a very long lizard. It had fore and back legs, which were tucked under it at the moment. It was also reveled to the group that The Leviathan was actually a she, not an it. She was also proving to be a very tolerant she, as The Other climbed around her face and ran her fingers over the amazingly soft scales. She had expected them to be hard, but they were soft, smooth and firm.

There was a long mane of hair that stared at the back of the horns and ran most of the way down the back of the pale blue creature. There were silvery flecks in the scales that shimmered in the sun’s light, which made her look like a new stream of water. She stretched along the front lawn, basking in the early sun.

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Fifteen: When we last left our heroes…

Chapter Fifteen

When we last left our heroes…

April 10^th, 2003

12:18 p.m.

They waited, as all sound died away, for their end to come. The world held the perfect, tense silence and then it happened. The Weirdo had been expecting a bit of pain, maybe the sound of wood splintering or bone shattering. What he had not expected, in any reasonable way, was a guitar riff. That is to say a very small part of him was squeezing its eyes shut very, very tightly and wishing to the blue fairy that there might please, please, please be a guitar riff. Some might question the validity of wishing to the blue fairy for salvation. These neigh sayers claim that the blue fairy is not responsive. They even have gone so far to claim that the blue fairy didn’t exist. The little part of The Weirdo didn’t care though, it wished anyway. It had closed its little eyes and had its hands next to its head in little fists near its ears and wished so hard to the blue fairy that the entire universe might hear its plight.

The Blue fairy is a lot more responsive than people think. Or, to be more accurate and less politically correct, the Blue Strait guy is the responsive one.

The sound of the guitar was so loud that it veritably ripped across the sky. Some one was playing the loudest guitar opening they could find. This happened to be a Queen song and it happened to be the opening riff of One Vision, and it became apparent with the roar of an engine and the crackle of a pair of machine guns who it was.

“Fuck you! You fair haired sons of bitches!” Tommy’s voice managed to make itself heard as the midnight sedan sailed across the grass.

Now anyone else, might have leaned out the window and held an Uzi or something and gun down the enemy, its easier and a lot safer. Not our boy Tommy though. Nope. None of this safety shit for him. No, following an ancient set of rules, Tommy did it in style. He was wearing his royal blue suit, of course, with his hat and coat that matched. He was caring not just one, but two of John Thompson’s finest trench brooms. One in each hand. He was also standing on the hood of the car, as it flew across the grass, leaning into the wind. He looked for all the world like the devil’s own version of the famous Rolls Royce hood ornament.

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Fourteen: The Joust

Chapter Fourteen

The Joust

April 7^th, 2003

2:21 p.m.

The Weirdo had pointed Tanteroy in the right direction, climbing he had something to do. Tanteroy had made it to The Weirdo’s house and was as we speak, explaining the idea.

“It may not even work.” Tanteroy said.

“You think this place could be an opening thought?” Cydrill asked.

“I do.”

“How long would it take?” Kestrel asked.

“Three, maybe four days to organize a fighting force of any size.” Tanteroy said.

“If this portal even works.” Cassimano said. “I know you want to find out what happened to your dad Tant, but come on, he’s dead. We should concentrate on what Chandelroth is doing. I mean if he’s here, then he’s going to come either to us, which is unlikely or go to the other side of the equation.”

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Thirteen: A Reason to Stay

Chapter Thirteen

A Reason to Stay

April 6^th, 2003

11:41 p.m.

If we were to look at the George Washington Bridge, we would see that John Uniton had driven his motorcycle to the middle of that bridge and sat himself down. He’d been on the bridge for sometime actually, and been doing quite badly. He’d been conducting an experiment that would never have occurred to him if Marla and the kids were still around.

Jack had to admit this; the Kentucky whisky was better than the Irish. He had consumed quite a lot of each, and had carefully compared the two. He had drunk four bottles of each and even with his unusual constitution was pretty well gone by now. He had compared carefully and as loathed as he was to deny loyalty to his home islands he had to admit which was better. The whisky made in Kentucky was just this side of superior to that made in the Irish workshops.

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Twelve: Perfect Peace

Note: The point isn’t really for you guys to read a chapter every day. That would be crazy, these chapters are about 30 pages long. This is just an info-dump situation, collect them all and read at your leisure.

This is basically an un-edited version of this book. There will be typos. There will be your/you're errors, because I'm dyslexic as hell. Why am I posting it? I've more or less come to the conclusion that some major things needed to change, so I'm changing them. However, I like the old version and I already gave you Twins In Death in the old form, so have this one too. It doesn't matter, the books are being re-written, so enjoy.

Brothers & Sisters
A Tale of The Weirdo
By Brett N. Lashuay

Chapter Twelve

Perfect Peace

April 6^th, 2003

8:24 a.m.

The Temple of Athena was, at one time, the greatest single piece of architecture in the world. The temple grounds are laid out in a perfect dance of geometric precision, so that you can see the most of each building when you walk through the arches. The temple proper is a majestically made building, with magnificent columns. The problem was it was magnificent about two and a half thousand years ago. It currently looks like a broken down piece of Greek ruin. Much of the place has been half inched, the stones stolen to become new building materials.

Aphrodite looked at the temple and winced, her own temples had all faded away long ago. She had once been more popular than the daughter of her most powerful nephew, and now was nearly forgotten. Her name wasn’t even as well remembered as that Italian tart the Roman’s set up in her place. She was at least glad that no one had named a planet after her. She didn’t think she could stand the idea of being a huge bloated gas covered over heated whore of a planet.

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Eleven: A Great Duel (or the Tale of the Lightning)

Note: The point isn’t really for you guys to read a chapter everyday. That would be crazy, these chapters are about 30 pages long. This is just an info-dump situation, collect them all and read at your leisure.

This is basically an un-edited version of this book. There will be typos. There will be your/you're errors, because I'm dyslexic as hell. Why am I posting it? I've more or less come to the conclusion that some major things needed to change, so I'm changing them. However, I like the old version and I already gave you Twins In Death in the old form, so have this one too. It doesn't matter, the books are being re-written, so enjoy.

Brothers & Sisters
A Tale of The Weirdo
By Brett N. Lashuay

Chapter Eleven

A Great Duel (or the Tale of the Lightning)

April 4^th, 2003

5:00 p.m.

The Weirdo looked up at the cloudy skies, and wondered where everyone was. This duel was supposed to start at five, wasn’t it? He looked at the clouds and was only a little surprised when they parted and the sun shone down on him. The sun’s light was particularly warm, even though it hung at an impossible place in the sky. It was hanging at place where it might be if it were two or three in the afternoon. Come to think of it he thought it was a bit odd that the clouds parted in two like that. He looked at the clouds again.

They were like two huge cardboard cut outs that had been hung in the sky with clouds painted on them. As if to exemplify this, one of the cloudbanks suddenly slipped and was perpendicular to the ground. It was as if one of the two people holding this bank lost their grip and the bank swept sharply to one side. The other person holding the bank let go and the clouds fell down behind the skyline of the city. The second cloudbank was suddenly lifted away from sight. He could swear that he heard a rustling of paper as it moved, and then the sun shattered.

This is to say that the sun was a giant plate or perhaps a mirror that was reflecting light onto him. Some sort of BB gun suddenly shot this massive mirror, apparently. The sun shattered and the bits fell from the sky down behind the skyline where the clouds had gone. There were shattering sounds as the bits hit the ground, or where one would think the ground would be. The sky went dark deprived of it’s light, though it did in a sort of embarrassed way.

“What in the name of Athena’s small but perky breasts?” The Weirdo asked.

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Ten: The He-Man Woman Haters Club

This is basically an un-edited version of this book. There will be typos. There will be your/you're errors, because I'm dyslexic as hell. Why am I posting it? I've more or less come to the conclusion that some major things needed to change, so I'm changing them. However, I like the old version and I already gave you Twins In Death in the old form, so have this one too. It doesn't matter, the books are being re-written, so enjoy.

Brothers & Sisters
A Tale of The Weirdo
By Brett N. Lashuay

Chapter Ten

The He-Man Woman Haters Club

April 4^th, 2003

10:02 a.m.

“Thank you for coming to see us Mister Jorgaes.” Diana said.

“My pleasure.” Jorgaes said as he took a seat. “I may be mistaken, but did the front lobby always have all those bullet holes in it?”

“We were visited quite rudely yesterday.” Diana said. “Which is why we called you today.”

“I should point out that I have no actual standing in The Weirdo’s decision making policy.” He said pulling is cigarette case from his pocket. “I’m just a guy who tells him where problem spots are from time to time.”

“I understand that.” She said. “But the fact that you’re still here on earth should be some indication to both us and him that you’ve some importance.”

Bothers & Sisters - Chapter Nine: Getting the Family Home

Chapter Nine

Getting the Family Home.

April 3^rd, 2003

1:01 p.m.

They had been followed and not discreetly, although it would have been an interesting stretch of the imagination to think how they could have been followed discreetly. As they drove though, The Weirdo, Tommy and Max, managed to think of at least three ways they could have done it if they had to. It was difficult, given the current, situation, but they could do it.

It was amazing how empty the city was, how quite. It was like the ghost towns in old movies, the ones that Tishiro Mifune and Clint Eastwood made their way into. There was no one around save for a fleeting glance of someone hiding behind the curtains. They looked up at what was, once again the tallest building in New York. The wind blew, but there were no birds using its power to help them along.

“It’s the birds.” Max said. “That’s what's worst.”

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Eight: Two Ambushes and One Homecoming

Chapter Eight

Two Ambushes and One Homecoming.

April 2^nd, 2003

7:03 p.m.

It hadn’t exactly been an ambush in the strictest sense of the word, they had seen them coming down the road. They had come for the meeting that was what Diana said. They had come in their purple robes, under which they had been carrying their guns. Where they had failed was they got impatient and started shooting before they’d all gotten into a useful range. Now they were at the corner shooting at our heroes.

Tommy was pinned down with Max and Cassimano behind the Mercedes. Jack and Kestrel were still in the building, and Darrian had taken up a position behind the BMW with two members of the Power. Fortunately Darrian had been strong enough to lift the cars and turn them perpendicular to the street. It had been a hastily constructed barrier, but it did all right for the moment.

Brothers & Sisters – Chapter Seven: A New Twin (What again?)

Chapter Seven

A New Twin (What again?)

April 1^st, 2003

5:12 p.m.

“Do we wanna talk here?” The Weirdo asked.

Both The Weirdo and The Gray man looked at each other and then at the group gathered around them. The gray man seemed to consider if he did or not, it was risky. He could have told them all, or he could have just told The Weirdo. He thought that maybe he should just tell The Weirdo. He looked at Max, and fixed on him a way to get them all to leave.

“Where is Azela, Max?”

“She said she was getting some things from her apartment this morning.”

“That was at about eight this morning and she’s not back? Don’t you think maybe some of you should go look for her?”

Kestrel and Max looked at each other and walked to the double doors of the dinning room. Darrian and Tommy also walked towards the doors, and after a moment of thought Cassimano walked after them.

“You need to go too Jack.” Marla said.

“Yes dear.” He said drawing his keys from his pocket.

Tales of The Weirdo

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Monday, May 19, 2014

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Friday, May 16, 2014

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Monday, May 12, 2014

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Friday, May 9, 2014

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Monday, May 5, 2014

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Saturday, May 3, 2014

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