The Upright Carriage

If you walk with your head up high, then people say you’re too proud.

If you walk with your head hung low, then people say you’re skulking.

You can try to walk with your head perfectly level, but someone will always claim you’re holding your head too high or too low.

Personally, I hold my head in my hands while screaming “The WORMS! They’re in my head! They’re eating my goddamn brain!”

People leave me the fuck alone about where my head is.