How can you tell a hipster?

Today my friends, if I may address you as such, I saw a hilariously sad thing.

I saw a young man stroke his stupid mustache, and then run his fingers through his hair. That's not the funny bit. He had one of those 70s throwback hair cuts, and with the facial hair, he looked like he was cosplaying how Luke Skywalker might look as a child molester. Again, not the funny bit.

After the hair work, he wiped his hands on his skinny jeans and patted down his t-shirt. The shirt was one of those with a font that just screams "70s!" and said "Nazi Rape is Hilarious" and of course the I in Nazi was dotted with a small flower. Again, not the funny bit. He then adjusted his Buddy Holly-esque glasses and then rubbed his fresh tattoo from what looked to me like a really, really obscure band that I'd probably never heard of.

This is the funny bit.

While sticking his thumbs into his studded belt, he turned to his friend and said "I can't be a hipster, I don't like Pabst Blue Ribbon. Oh look! They've got cupcakes!"