Let me ask you something

I would have known this story was bullshit earlier if I’d know that the part of town she got “mugged” in was Pittsburgh’s Little Italy. Even knowing that I was suspicious. It’s easy to say “bullshit” now, but I’ve been busy all day and details were amazingly hard to find because only two or three places were touching this story with a ten foot pole. I wanted to have details before making up my mind as to whether or not this story was indeed the bullshit it has proved to be.

Part one: Does this even sound a little plausible?
Does a black man tend to go into Little Italy at night? I don’t think so. We’ve got Greektown in Detroit, but I assume it works the same way. Those spots are filled with some racist motherfuckers. Just truth I’m spewing here. In fact, someone from that area says that they don't.

Does a black man go into Little Italy at night to mug a white woman? I doubt it. You could walk down the street in Greektown naked but for a thong made of hundred dollar bills and no one would bother you. The Greeks of Greektown, they don’t like a fuss. I’ve been told most the Little Italy’s in this great nation are the same. Crime is low for outsiders in these places. Chinatowns tend to get the same thing. Crime doesn’t happen to the honkeys in those places, like ever.

NOW! Does a black man go into Little Italy, at night, to mug a white woman, and then decide to attack her based on her political views? I can’t rightly say, I’ve never been mugged myself. I’ve always looked like the sort you maybe don’t want to bother. However, I can’t imagine you’re average mugger being a political animal. I can’t imagine a man who has decided to hold you up for money saying, “Since I've got you here, how do you feel the free market structure has affected the economy? Are you in favor of Greenspan’s hands off approach to regulation? Do you think I would be here mugging you under a different economic system?” I’ve always seen the relationship as a very simple one. A guy points a weapon at you and demands money, you give him money, you both run away. I sort of doubt that having gotten the money the guy would then raise his stakes and go for battery to mix with the assault charge.


Part Two: I’ve seen the real thing.
Okay, so I’ve been a bad, bad person in the past. For good reasons, all in a good cause, but I have been a mean motherfucker. I have gone and talked to the boyfriend of the girl who’s hair I stroked and who’s eye I put ice on and had a conversation with him. A conversation can be a person talking to another person, the other person doesn’t really have to say anything beyond “Yes, I’ll never go near her again, please stop slamming my head in the door now!” Not all my friends have always been what you would call good judges of character. Not their fault, they were young.

So I’ve seen abuse, close up. I’ve seen what being smacked around by a not so strong teenager can look like. It doesn’t look like that in my experience. I’ve actually had a black eye like that myself once. It’s embarrassing to tell you, but I actually did walk into a door. Well, actually I bent over and smacked my face on a half fridge door and got a cut jut above my eyebrow and blackened my eye a little. Fortunately, no one thought I was lying because no one could believe a guy would make up such a lame lie.

So, I’ve seen what one on one contact of the variety described here looks like.

Now the other half is that I’ve known a person who decided to smack herself around and try and blame her father. She smacked her face into a table a couple of times, which produced some bruises around her face. Long thin bruises that looked like she’d smacked her face into the side of a table a couple of times. She also refused to let a doctor look at her until social workers demanded it so they could properly charge her father with abuse. She fell apart pretty quickly too. It’s an attention seeking ploy, I would not be surprised if this woman has done this in the past.

I have known these people, I have dealt with their drama, I have eaten their pain.

And you folks wonder why I never leave the house? Pfui!



Part Three: How dare they?
Seriously, a big black man attacking a poor defenseless white woman who just wants to work for McCain? When republicans are actually attacking reporters and people against Prop 8, when they really are slashing people’s tires, when they really are putting up lynched effigies of Obama and replacing Obama signs with confederate flags? Now they invent a story about a big black phantom who attacks white women while delivering political sermons? How fucking dare they?

It’s not bad enough she lied about being attacked, but she had to make it a black man who robs people and then decides to go for the gusto after realizing the person he robbed is a McCain supporter? Just, fucking disgusting!

A 6 foot tall 220 pound black man has a lot more to fear from a 100 pound white woman than the other way around. The black man knows he’s marked from the beginning. If some asshole who so much as wearing the same color shoes as he is pulled something he could get arrested, beaten, maybe even killed. To invent that sort of story is just beyond the pale.

And the McCain camp jumped right on it. They couldn’t get the word “mutilated” out there fast enough. Not bad enough they decide to prop up an obviously false story, they decide to turn it into “They’re KILLING our women RIGHT NOW!” sort of hateful bullshit. You know, real Americans, pro-America Americans, the Americans that like-likes America don’t need this kind of bullshit.

Fucking racist assholes sling their bullshit at real Americans? Fuckers.

If I wrote bullshit four hundred and eighty-seven times, we might begin to approach how much bullshit this encases. And this is pure bullshit, don’t think we’d put any pig crap in there as filler.

Fancy and I have standards!